Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Character

Mo the Bat

61 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #398. Happy Nick and Mo

April 8, 1999

JOHNNY: Mo! Nick! Why do you guys look so DAMN happy?
MO: We're not really happy, Johnny. It's the management.

MO: They strapped these things to our heads to make us look CUTER, said we'd be more marketable.
NICK: And they rubbed raw eggs on me to make my fur shiny.

JOHNNY: WAIT. Cute, furry animals? Cleancut, marketable characters? Oh, my GOD!

JOHNNY: We've been bought by DISNEY!
NICK: Johnny, you got any VISINE? I haven't blinked in 74 hours...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 2 #291. Aerobics

October 14, 1998

NICK: Still musing about those people down there in the Chapel?
MO: NOPE, I figured 'em out.

MO: THINK ABOUT IT! They come sit, stand, and kneel in unison, break for a carbo boost of bread and wine, lift those heavy books!

MO: Don't you see?

MO: They're doin' LOW-IMPACT AEROBICS!
NICK: So there's SPANDEX under all those dress clothes.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 3 #290. Paradise in Edens

October 13, 1998

MO: SO, humans used to live in this perfect garden paradise in Edens.
NICK: Edens, huh? You would think Main West.

MO: Then some snake told 'em to eat fruit, and God got all pissed and made all the humans all cranky.

NICK: TALKING ANIMALS? That's a little ABSURD.
MO: SEE, I thought you were SUPPOSED to eat fruit. This "God" seems to support scurvy.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #289. Dominion over all animals

October 12, 1998

MO: Mmm...
NICK: What?

MO: WELL, sez in here that humans have "dominion over" all animals.

NICK: HUMANS have more power than US?
MO: That's what it sez.

NICK: But WE'RE the ones who get to walk around NAKED!
MO: That's what I'M sayin'. You know, this WHOLE BOOK is sorta PREACHY.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #288. Jesus Christ

October 9, 1998

MO: Hi, is this the Chapel? Who's this "God" person in yer bible?
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: WHOA! Don't get SNIPPY, just tell me who yer "God" is!
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: Look, SETTLE DOWN, buddy! I just want to know who this "God" is!
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: I feel like asking "who's on first?"
CHAPEL PERSON: Is this a prank? Is this the Pope again?

1 view Like

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