Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Nick and Mo Find the Bible

Nick and Mo eavesdrop on the Chapel from the bell tower, find a Bible, and try to work out what these humans do every week.

6 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#286. Church

October 7, 1998

NICK: What're ya doing?
MO: Listening to the humans down there.

MO: They congregate once every week. It's like clockwork.
NICK: What do they talk about?
LABEL: Thee Chapel

MO: Well, LESSEE, fathers, sons, ghosts, wine and bread, sheep, and, OH YEAH, crucifixion.

NICK: Sounds like some bizarre FAMILY REUNION.
MO: ...and they seem to be really into new wave ORGAN music.

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#287. Bible

October 8, 1998

NICK: What's that?
MO: It's called "Ho-lee Bih-bull". There's tons of 'em down there. It might help us find out what they're doin'.

NICK: Well, what's it say?
MO: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth."

NICK: The whole shebang, huh? Who's this "God" fella? Some sort of engineer?

MO: Is this fiction or nonfiction? There's no book jacket?
NICK: I just don't see the cosmos coming outta those kids in TEER...

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#288. Jesus Christ

October 9, 1998

MO: Hi, is this the Chapel? Who's this "God" person in yer bible?
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: WHOA! Don't get SNIPPY, just tell me who yer "God" is!
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: Look, SETTLE DOWN, buddy! I just want to know who this "God" is!
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: I feel like asking "who's on first?"
CHAPEL PERSON: Is this a prank? Is this the Pope again?

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#289. Dominion over all animals

October 12, 1998

MO: Mmm...
NICK: What?

MO: WELL, sez in here that humans have "dominion over" all animals.

NICK: HUMANS have more power than US?
MO: That's what it sez.

NICK: But WE'RE the ones who get to walk around NAKED!
MO: That's what I'M sayin'. You know, this WHOLE BOOK is sorta PREACHY.

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#290. Paradise in Edens

October 13, 1998

MO: SO, humans used to live in this perfect garden paradise in Edens.
NICK: Edens, huh? You would think Main West.

MO: Then some snake told 'em to eat fruit, and God got all pissed and made all the humans all cranky.

NICK: TALKING ANIMALS? That's a little ABSURD.
MO: SEE, I thought you were SUPPOSED to eat fruit. This "God" seems to support scurvy.

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