Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Character

Ben

154 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #414. Bob the pirate

August 15, 1999

NARRATOR: A character I never got to introduce: Bob the Pirate.
BEN: Jen! What's the symbol for "radius" of a circle?

JEN: I dunno dear... Hey! Let's ask Bob the Pirate!

JEN: Bob the Pirate, what's the symbol for radius?
BOB THE PIRATE: Aaaar!

JEN: Really? What's the 18th letter of the alphabet? Conjugate "to be" for "they". What's the 1st person plural possessive pronoun?
BOB THE PIRATE: Aaar! Aaar! Aaar!
NARRATOR: Man. He could've added so much to the strip. (sigh) We'll miss ya, Bob...

2 views Like

Popularity rank 2 #65. Phallic chapel

February 24, 1997

JOHNNY: Ah, the Chapel...

JOHNNY: So majestic, so moving, so awe-inspiring...

JOHNNY: So... so... so....

JOHNNY: So undeniably PHALLIC.
BEN: Suddenly I wanna quit smoking...

2 views Like

Popularity rank 3 #407. Jokes about beer

April 21, 1999

GOD: It's ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have.

GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge.

JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl.

GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don't over-analyze things.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #399. Bought by Disney

April 9, 1999

JOHNNY: So it's Disney, Ben, DISNEY. I can't believe what they've turned this strip into.

BEN: I dunno, Johnny, before the changes: I had a GIRL, a cool HAIRDO, the world was my oyster. But I was always DEPRESSED.

BEN: But NOT, they've fired Jen, my life is a SHAMBLES, and yet... my DEPRESSION is... gone.

BEN: I think unhappiness... makes me happy.
JOHNNY: WOW. Some lucky psych major's gonna get a master's thesis outta you...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #390. Thong

March 29, 1999

A pause

A pause

A pause

JEN: OK, remind me to never wear a THONG again EVER.
BEN: Remind me to forget to remind you.

1 view Like

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