Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Ben

154 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 11 #356. Stereotypes are harmful

February 2, 1999

NARRATOR: At this week's "Johnny" cast party.
JOHNNY: Well, Winston, Jay, it's great to have you guys aboard.
WINSTON: It's gonna be fun, Johnny.

JOHNNY: You know, the last two weeks have been interesting, we've ALL learned something. Do you think there's a moral we could take from all this?

WINSTON: Well, I'd say it's that, in any form, STEREOTYPES ARE HARMFUL.
BEN: Ain't THAT the truth.

BEN: Isn't that right, Fratman and Sorority Girl?
SORORITY GIRL: Teehee! I'm shallow!
FRATMAN: I'm drunk AND shallow!
LABEL: Look kids! Irony!

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Popularity rank 12 #351. Jay disappoints Ben

January 26, 1999

BEN: So, "Jay", that short for something, like Jason, but you just say "J"?
JAY: Nope, nope. It's just my name. Jay.

BEN: Hey, I just got that Tupac CD, it's=
JAY: Don't like rap.

BEN: Which-
JAY: Don't like Chris Rock, never saw Boyz 'N the Hood, rented Malcolm X once but I fell asleep. Sorry.

BEN: (sigh)

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Popularity rank 13 #340. Bold parking

January 11, 1999

JOHNNY: Bryan Center lot's FULL, TOO! So is Cameron AND the Ocean! AAAA!!

BEN: Well, you're just going to have to bite the bullet and park over in BFE.
JOHNNY: NO!! I will NOT be reduced to that!!

BEN: This is SO not legal. This isn't even in the same TIME ZONE as legal.
JOHNNY: Ha ha HA! But I'll put my HAZARDS on!! WOOHOO! I'm INVINCIBLE!

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Popularity rank 14 #339. My meal plan’s done

December 19, 1998

JOHNNY: Ooo, Ben! My meal plan's done for. Can you spot me for lunch?
BEN: Sure, just hurry it up...

SOUND: munch munch

BEN: Whoa! Whoa! WHOA! Turkey roll up, fries, pasta, snapple, side salad, soup, cake AND an apple.

BEN: What am I? MADE of points? Now let's get blue plate special on that ass!

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Popularity rank 15 #333. Civilization and chaos

December 11, 1998

JOHNNY: And that's where we killed the PIG and-
BEN: MY GOD! Without tenting rules, you people become ANIMALS!

BEN: You Crazies walk the fine line between CIVILIZATION and CHAOS!
JOHNNY: OH, now, I-

BEN: And the ONE thing that has kept you HUMAN, that's kept you from slipping into utter SAVAGERY... is... is...

BEN: DSG LINE MONITORING!
JOHNNY: AAA! You're RIGHT! They're our SAVIORS!
NOTE: Warning: This cartoon contains sarcasm, harmful to lab rats and Jesse Helms.

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