Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Chronicle Submission

Nov 1996

7 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#30. Meet Johnny (alternate)

November 2, 1996

NARRATOR: Consider if you will: an average Duke student. His name: Johnny Williams.
NARRATOR: He is normal in every respect. He IS the status quo.

NARRATOR: Why then has he been chosen to start in a big budget daily comic?

A pause.

JOHNNY: Well?!
NARRATOR: Hold on... I'm thinking...

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#31. Meet Johnny and Mo (alternate)

November 3, 1996

NARRATOR: Two characters, both alike in dignity...

NARRATOR: In fair li'l Durham, where we lay our scene...
Note: End of lame Shakespeare parody...

NARRATOR: One, a human. The other, a bat. Both equally marketable as potential Happy Meal toys.

NARRATOR: And so, a strip is born, and with it, new hope. Hope for a brighter future.
JOHNNY: One with easier orgo tests...
MO: Ay, there's the rub...

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#32. UWC

November 4, 1996

JOHNNY: "Tell me all your thoughts on..." Oh, hey Dave! What's up?
DAVE: Not much, man....
NOTE: For reasons of space, our comics will have no legs.

JOHNNY: I haven't seen you since we got out. How've you been?
DAVE: All right. It hasn't been easy. I still have flashbacks.

DAVE: It was hell, man, but that part of my life is over, man. Thank God. Anyway, I gotta go catch the Trent bus, man. I'll see ya....
JOHNNY: Later, man.

JOHNNY: I'll always have a special bond to my UWC brothers.
NOTE: Stay tuned for tomorrow's strip as all the legs return in another epic comic saga!

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#33. Library work-study

November 5, 1996

JOHNNY: You know, I'm really starting to dislike the whole work-study thing....

JOHNNY: A man can take only so many hours of book checking...

JOHNNY: Of course, when one gets bored, one's mind turns to evil deeds. Bwah ha hahahahaaaah...

DUKE STUDENT: Hey! 759.5243 S149 W130 is supposed to be AFTER 759.5243 S149 W122, not before it!
JOHNNY: Hmm, how... ODD! Heh, heh...

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#34. Summer jobs

November 6, 1996

NARRATOR: Summer jobs. Some flip burgers...
LABEL: Heat lines

NARRATOR: Or work as office boys...
LABEL: Tiny text lines

NARRATOR: Some save lives...
LABEL: Motion lines

NARRATOR: But all for the same noble purpose...
JOHNNY: You mean we're ALL trying to get money to impress chicks?
NARRATOR: NO! You're upholding the tradition of the America work ethic!
JOHNNY: Oh... so what about the chicks?
NARRATOR: Just, just forget it.

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