Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Character

Johnny

302 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #362. No big commitments

February 10, 1999

JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

JAY: Well, I've gone out a few times with this one girl. It's cool, we get along great, but it's not serious. We're just playin' it by ear. No big commitments...

JOHNNY: Mmm hmm...
SOUND: push push push

JOHNNY: So basically, you have no #?@*in' clue what's goin' on with this girl.
JAY: That's one way of phrasing it...
SOUND: push push push

3 views Like

Popularity rank 2 #37. Welcome

January 15, 1997

JOHNNY: Greetings, readers! Shalom and welcome to the exciting world of "Johnny"! I'm the main character of the strip, Jonathan G. Williams. You may remember me from my earlier work in the Chronicle, such as "Guy Watching TV" or "Guy at the Airport"...

JOHNNY: Right now, I'm in Charlotte, NC, standing outside of "Johnny" headquarters, where the strip is conceived, written and performed...

JOHNNY: Inside, writers, artists, and interpretive dancers work long hours to give YOU, the consumer, all the cartoon enjoyment you deserve!

JOHNNY: Remember our slogan: "If it's high-quality, state of the art cartooning you want, well, we just can't help you... but if it's cheap, quick humor you want, then brother, WE'RE FULL OF IT." Or, more simply, "We're full of it." Good night and God bless.
NOTE: Last panel of the wordiest strip ever.

3 views Like

Popularity rank 3 #388. First step to getting girls

March 25, 1999

JAY: I dunno, how do get girls to like you, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Oh, I have a SYSTEM. The firs step is: get to be good friends with them.

A pause

JOHNNY: That's pretty much IT... it's not the BEST system.
JAY: NO... No, it's not.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 4 #65. Phallic chapel

February 24, 1997

JOHNNY: Ah, the Chapel...

JOHNNY: So majestic, so moving, so awe-inspiring...

JOHNNY: So... so... so....

JOHNNY: So undeniably PHALLIC.
BEN: Suddenly I wanna quit smoking...

2 views Like

Popularity rank 5 #36. MSNBC

November 8, 1996

TV: Yes, Jeff, I am here live at the official rollout of the alpha version of Office 2000, codename Poughkeepsie...

TV: All right, Ava, we'll get back to you on the half-hour, for now, an update on Microsoft stock, it's up to 3/8...

TV: Stay tuned tonight as we'll examine several national crisis situations that COULD cause Bil Gates to assume the president.

JOHNNY: I hate MSNBC on slow news days...
TV: And Barbra Walters interviews Luc, the Gates' fish... "Luc, your mother abandoned you..." "Sniff, glub."

2 views Like

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