Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Character

Fratman

34 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #198. Fratman and Sorority girl fall in love

January 22, 1998

FRATMAN: Buffy, I... you're just... PERFECT. From your ENCHANTED CLOGS that you superhuman fashion sense, to the aptly named, "TIGHT BLACK PANTS OF POWER"...

FRATMAN: To your v-neck sweater that, although powerlfess under the teal sun of your home planet, JAYKROO, provides you with ULTRA SASSINESS under the yellow sun of the Earth!
SOUND: Blush!

SORORITY GIRL: AND... I have a NICE butt.
FRATMAN: Which TRULY gives the "Tight Black Pants of Power" MUCH of their power, yowza.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 2 #407. Jokes about beer

April 21, 1999

GOD: It's ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have.

GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge.

JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl.

GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don't over-analyze things.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 3 #395. Staying superficial

April 5, 1999

JAY: Fratman, you and Sorority Girl seem to have a stable relationship. How do you do it?

FRATMAN: The KEY, Jay, is staying SUPERFICIAL. Our relationship is based mainly on looks and social standing.

FRATMAN: We never get to know each other well, so we avoid any messy personality conflicts.

JAY: I guess... your shallowness... runs DEEP.
FRATMAN: Deeper than the deepest keg of Beast Lite.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #356. Stereotypes are harmful

February 2, 1999

NARRATOR: At this week's "Johnny" cast party.
JOHNNY: Well, Winston, Jay, it's great to have you guys aboard.
WINSTON: It's gonna be fun, Johnny.

JOHNNY: You know, the last two weeks have been interesting, we've ALL learned something. Do you think there's a moral we could take from all this?

WINSTON: Well, I'd say it's that, in any form, STEREOTYPES ARE HARMFUL.
BEN: Ain't THAT the truth.

BEN: Isn't that right, Fratman and Sorority Girl?
SORORITY GIRL: Teehee! I'm shallow!
FRATMAN: I'm drunk AND shallow!
LABEL: Look kids! Irony!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #295. Off-planet parties

October 20, 1998

FRATMAN: Johnny, on-campus parties present too many RESTRICTIONS, off-campus parties attract POLICE and CRIME.*
NOTE: * In that order.

FRATMAN: The answer? OFF-PLANET PARTIES! The IFC bought acres of land on Mars, and it's prime for DANCING! TO THE FRATWING!
LABEL: The Frat Laser Pointer

BEN: Doesn't it take almost a year to fly to Mars?
JOHNNY: BEN! SHH!

FRATMAN: Not in cartoon time, Ben. It's like dog years.
JOHNNY: See? Never question Fratman!

1 view Like

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