Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Fratman

34 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 11 #107. The “if-only”s

May 1, 1997

NARRATOR: The "if-only"s....
JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre.
WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer...
STU: Oh, sir....

BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more...
JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip.
MO: If only we had opposable thumbs...
LABEL: Well-placed table.
FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and techno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 12 #83. Fratman on the bus

March 28, 1997

FRATMAN: Greetings, Johnny!
JOHNNY: Oh, hey, Fratman! What're you up to?

FRATMAN: Oh, just continuing my neverending quest to champion the idals of the Greek system using my "people skills" and my limited superpowers... how about you?

JOHNNY: We, uh, ran out of chees, so, I, uh, I'm getting more...
FRATMAN: Well, we all have a purpose.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 13 #63. We want to be normal, Fratman

February 20, 1997

JOHNNY: Fratman! We want to be normal guys again!

FRATMAN: Boys, you've always had the power to go back. Just click your deck shoes together three times!

SOUND: SHAZAM SHAZAM

WILLIAM: Will we ever see you again, Fratman?
FRATMAN: Um... probably. You know I'm in your econ class.
JOHNNY: Oh yeah. I do remember some guy with a cape.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 14 #62. Trying out the new image

February 19, 1997

FRATMAN: Let's try out the new image by picking up that girl over there.
JOHNNY: All right, Fratman.

JOHNNY: What's up? I've decided to give you the opportunity to hook up with me. Let's go.

INTELLIGENT WOMAN: Get lost, jerk.

JOHNNY: FRATMAN! She's a (gasp) INTELLIGENT WOMAN!
FRATMAN: Drat! My arch-nemesis! Quickly, shield yourself behind my Photon Khaki Ego Shield!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 15 #61. Secret Fratman powers

February 18, 1997

FRATMAN: So, no booze and no women, huh?
JOHNNY: Pretty much, Fratman.

FRATMAN: I see! Well, I'll use my SECRET FRATMAN POWERS to turn those cups of water to beer! ALPHA BETA GAMMA PHI!

FRATMAN: Now, I'll use the WHITE HAT OD JUSTICE to make your clothing and personality more like a fratboy and therefore more attractive to women!

FRATMAN: Well, how do you feel?
JOHNNY: I'm so wasted.
WILLIAM: Let's go lie to some chicks.

1 view Like

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