Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Fratman

34 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 26 #296. Mars

October 21, 1998

FRATMAN: Mars has no alcohol laws, no neighbors to wake up, and the cold climate keeps kegs perfectly chilled!

FRATMAN: Our dorms have just the ESSENTIALS: a dance floor, bathrooms, a few hook-up rooms...

FRATMAN: And in every bathroom: RUNNING BEER!
BEN: EW! What about washing, showering?

FRATMAN: You can hardly tell the difference with Bud Light...
JOHNNY: Do these toilets have VODKA in 'em?!

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Popularity rank 27 #225. Fratman and foam parties

March 2, 1998

BEN: Fratman! What happened to you?
FRATMAN: Oh, you know, the cops got me, man. I had lighter fluid and...

BEN: Right.
FRATMAN: OK, no, well, actually I was talking trash to Okulaja after the game, you know, and...

BEN: Sure you were.
FRATMAN: OK, no, well ACTUALLY it was a pledge task to beat up a superhero, and, haha, those darn kids, uh...

FRATMAN: ALL RIGHT, I SLIPPED WHILE PLAYING IN THE FOAM, OK? It's just I never had bubble baths as a child, I, I...
BEN: There, there...

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Popularity rank 28 #201. Is Ben Fratman?

January 27, 1998

JOHNNY: Hey, where's FRATMAN? We were going to... to play CHECKERS.
BEN: He and Buffy went BID NIGHT hopping...

JOHNNY: Sometimes I wonder who Fratman IS. HEY! Come the THINK of it, I've never seen you and Fratman TOGETHER! It all makes SENSE, I-

BEN: Johnny, we all played racquetball together YESTERDAY.

JOHNNY: Oh... WELL, there goes that. Who's up for YAHTZEE?
BEN: Dear LORD, man, don't you have CLASSES!

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Popularity rank 29 #199. Not just a meaningless hook-up

January 23, 1998

JOHNNY: So you think SORORITY GIRL may be THE ONE, huh?

FRATMAN: I dunno, it's just... with MOST girls all I think about is having a MEANINGLESS HOOK-UP with them, but with BUFFY...

FRATMAN: I think about having HUNDREDS of meaningless hook-ups!
JOHNNY: AW...

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Popularity rank 30 #197. Meet Sorority Girl

January 21, 1998

SORORITY GIRL: Excuse me, you're MALE. You'll have to leave.
FRATMAN: Look, I'm not DISTURBING anyone, I-

SORORITY GIRL: Don't "LOOK" me. You're violating a sacred rule of rush. I will not have you MOCK the Greek system I cherish so dearly!

FRATMAN: You speak like an ANGEL. What... is your name?
SORORITY GIRL: My GIVEN name is Sorority Girl, but... my sisters call me... Buffy...

SORORITY GIRL: Uh, yeah, so, I,
FRATMAN: So, uh, um, yeah,
BOTH: WANNA HOOK UP?! OR, UH, WHATEVER!

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