Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Fratman

34 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 21 #301. Ever been to an alcohol-free party?

October 28, 1998

FRATMAN: So, what do you guys think about off-planet parties?
SOUND: beep boop

JOHNNY: Well, it all seem like a bit MUCH. I mean, "East-West-Mars via Central"? NASA mixers? DJ XDOLE? All this JUST to have alcohol at parties?

FRATMAN: Johnny... have you ever been to an alcohol-free party?
JOHNNY: Y-yes... I... we....

JOHNNY: Oh God, we played YAHTZEE, Fratman! HELP US!
FRATMAN: There, there. Have another Beast lite...

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Popularity rank 22 #300. Freshmen on Mars

October 27, 1998

JOHNNY: How are the partygoers taking to the off-planet scene?
FRATMAN: Well, let's ask one...

JOHNNY: How do you like Mars?
FRESHMAN: It's an AWESOME club, real big. I wanna see other Franklin Street spots. And I hear Raleigh's over there in Orion's Belt.

JOHNNY: He really thinks this is Chapel Hill (chuckle).
FRATMAN: Ah, FRESHMEN, they're so CUTE at this age.

FRATMAN: Do you want some Aristocrat, little guy?
FRESHMAN: COOL! I live in GA... , uh, mean... in SPE, or something.

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Popularity rank 23 #299. Space suits

October 26, 1998

FRATMAN: SEE? You can go outside in these suits!
JOHNNY: But you can't GROOVE in these, man.
SIGN: Mars

BEN: Look, I can't smoke with this helmet on....
FRATMAN: NO, BEN! You'll inhale toxic gases!
SOUND: wooooosh

FRATMAN: Your body can't handle the... deadly... Martian... air. Wow.
SOUND: click

BEN: Look, I've been training my lungs for this my whole life. 'Sides, it's got a filter.
JOHNNY: Hey, you CAN do the ROBOT pretty well! "Intergalactic planetary"...

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Popularity rank 24 #298. Toxic atmosphere

October 23, 1998

JOHNNY: These dorms are nice, but what if you want to go OUTSIDE?
FRATMAN: No problem!

JOHNNY: But the atmosphere on Mars is TOXIC!
FRATMAN: Well, RIGHT. You can't, you know, BREATH.

JOHNNY: OH.

JOHNNY: Sort of like LA.
FRATMAN: Oh, and its like -200 degrees Celsius out there, so BRING A SCARF.
BEN: I can still SMOKE, right? RIGHT!?

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Popularity rank 25 #297. Alien frat guy

October 22, 1998

FRATMAN: Johnny, meet our newest brother, ZEOSIEM. He's our first MARTIAN.

JOHNNY: Hi.

ZEOSIEM: (weird alien stuff)

JOHNNY: He seems... MAD.
FRATMAN: Well, that may have not been his HAND you just shook...

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