NARRATOR: The "if-only"s....
JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre.
WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer...
STU: Oh, sir....
BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more...
JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip.
MO: If only we had opposable thumbs...
LABEL: Well-placed table.
FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and techno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait.
