The “if-only”s

NARRATOR: The "if-only"s.... JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre. WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer... STU: Oh, sir.... BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more... JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character. LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip. FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and tchno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait. MO: If only we had opposable thumbs... LABEL: Well-placed table.
Transcript
    • NARRATOR: The “if-only”s….
    • JOHNNY: If only I’d been MORE mediocre.
    • WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer…
    • STU: Oh, sir….
    • BEN: If only we’d featured my Nan poster more…
    • JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
    • LABEL: Ben’s girlfriend. Was in one strip.
    • FRATMAN: If only I’d thrown parties with lots of Eighties and tchno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee’s Best…. Oh, wait.
    • MO: If only we had opposable thumbs…
    • LABEL: Well-placed table.