Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny

302 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #413. Need a 93

August 1, 1999

JOHNNY: All right, in order to not fail this class, I need a 93 on this exam...

JOHNNY: It won't be easy, but I've studied for a week, and I know the material cold.

JOHNNY: NOW... only one thing stands in my way...

JOHNNY: The test is out of 50.
NOTE: OK. That's it. See ya. - Porter

1 view Like

Popularity rank 7 #412. Desert dementia

July 15, 1999

JOHNNY: Why's this rock ROUNDED?
DR. PETER HAFF: Maybe spheroidal weathering? I'd have to look at it...

JOHNNY: It's real SMOOTH, too...
DR. PETER HAFF: Could be a ventifact, eroded by windblown sand...

JOHNNY: Ooo! And it's PLIABLE!
DR. PETER HAFF: That's... that's an old shoe.

JOHNNY: Mmhmm, so you think it's sedimentary?
DR. PETER HAFF: Johnny, when's the last time you had any WATER?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 8 #411. Sleeping under the stars

July 1, 1999

JOHNNY: Yessir, I am sleeping under the start tonight! It's really the only way to camp out, I...

JOHNNY: Hey, look! Mountain lion tracks! COOL!!

A pause

JOHNNY: Yessir, sleeping in a locked van, really the ONLY way to camp out, I...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 9 #410. Paying for Duke

June 15, 1999

MOM: Johnny, the financial aid papers came today. It doesn't look great...
JOHNNY: Oh, boy.

MOM: But we can do it; we'll work more hours, won't eat out...
JOHNNY: I'll get another job.

JOHNNY: WELL, it's gonna take a BIT more. Now, I've given this a LOT of thought. You're a HEALTHY kid, son...

MOM: And, you know, you only really NEED ONE kidney...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 10 #409. STU and blackmail

June 1, 1999

STU: Johnny! How are you? You have new mail! How about some solitaire?
JOHNNY: Mmm...

STU: Long day?
JOHNNY: Mmm...
STU: Long week?
JOHNNY: Mmm...

STU: I could also call up swimsuit.photos.com/nude/ again? I saved that password...

JOHNNY: I thought we deleted all record of that afternoon?!
STU: I know you dd! I've got three gigs of the D: drive devoted just to blackmail!

1 view Like

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