Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny

302 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 21 #372. Johnny’s a CEO

February 24, 1999

STU: Sir, I'll be happy to run e-WebNET.com behind the scenes, but we'll need some humans to publicly represent us.

STU: Do YOU have any business experience?

JOHNNY: UM, I got a "C" in ECON 51.

STU: Congrats, you're the new CEO.
JOHNNY: Hey, I FAILED ethics, can I be our LEGAL representation too?
SOUND: sniff

1 view Like

Popularity rank 22 #370. Free cable

February 22, 1999

BEN: Did you pay the cable bill?
JOHNNY: Nope.

A pause

BEN: So it's another night of SCOLA then?
JOHNNY: Quiet! The Russian version of Seinfeld is on, they're waiting in a bread line for a marble rye...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 23 #363. The talk

February 11, 1999

JOHNNY: If you don't know what's up with this girl, have "The Talk". Show her you're comfortable with your emotions.

JAY: But I'm NOT comfortable with my emotions.

JOHNNY: What better thing to build a relationship on than a LIE?
JAY: I don't even know if I HAVE emotions!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 24 #357. Hard-to-get

February 3, 1999

JAY: So Johnny, you going out with anyone?
JOHNNY: Nope.

JAY: Why? Not found anyone you like?
JOHNNY: No, no, I got people I like...

JOHNNY: ... I've just been playing a very successful game of hard-to-get.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 25 #356. Stereotypes are harmful

February 2, 1999

NARRATOR: At this week's "Johnny" cast party.
JOHNNY: Well, Winston, Jay, it's great to have you guys aboard.
WINSTON: It's gonna be fun, Johnny.

JOHNNY: You know, the last two weeks have been interesting, we've ALL learned something. Do you think there's a moral we could take from all this?

WINSTON: Well, I'd say it's that, in any form, STEREOTYPES ARE HARMFUL.
BEN: Ain't THAT the truth.

BEN: Isn't that right, Fratman and Sorority Girl?
SORORITY GIRL: Teehee! I'm shallow!
FRATMAN: I'm drunk AND shallow!
LABEL: Look kids! Irony!

1 view Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon