Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny

302 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 31 #319. People are too computer literate

November 23, 1998

WILLIAM: Johnny, people are becoming too COMPUTER LITERATE.
JOHNNY: That's a PROBLEM?

WILLIAM: Computers were once the domain of a SELECT FEW! We were NEEDED! IN DEMAND! But, NOW... EVERYONE knows Java; everything's USER-FRIENDLY and PLUG 'N' PLAY!

WILLIAM: Computer nerds had ONE redeeming trait, but if EVERYBODY understands computers, what do WE become?
SOUND: sniff sniff

JOHNNY: Just... NERDS.
WILLIAM: People don't keep us around just because we play "MYST" well, Johnny!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 32 #318. Meet CyberWilliam

November 20, 1998

WILLIAM: Greetings, Johnny. I am the being once known as "William".

JOHNNY: WILLIAM! So how's "Duke in Cyberspace"?
WILLIAM: Well, I visit you on a mission from the creator.

JOHNNY: The creator?
WILLIAM: You know him by many names: God, Giver of Life, Bill Gates...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 33 #316. Child psychology

November 18, 1998

BEN: This child psychology stuff is interesting... sez here most kids actually believe the WORLD REVOLVES AROUND THEM when they're young.

JOHNNY: At what age do they realize the TRUTH?
BEN: Which is... ?

JOHNNY: Well, that the world revolves around ME!
BEN: RIGHT, right... how silly of me to forget.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 34 #311. All a dream

November 11, 1998

BEN: I'm sorry it was all a dream, Johnny, but, LOOK, it's not impossible. You'll find someone eventually...
JOHNNY: I KNOW, (sniff) I know.

BEN: Not that it MATTERS, of course... I mean, we're all going to die eventually... (sniff) nothing matters... NOTHING...

BEN: Curse you! You cruel, foul world!

JOHNNY: Note to self: never ask an existentialist to cheer you up...
BEN: (sniff) Th-thanks.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 35 #310. Waking up

November 10, 1998

JOHNNY: Julia, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me! I LOVE you!
JULIA: Johnny, I've something to say to you, too...

JULIA: IT'S 8:15! EEE EEE EEE EEE!
JOHNNY: WHAT? You sound like my ALARM! Wait, has this whole thing been a dream?
NOTE: It's like "Dallas"!

SOUND: EEE EEE EEE EEE EEE
SOUND: poof
SOUND: BANG!
JOHNNY: No! Julia! Ju-OW!

SOUND: EEE EEE EEE EEE EEE
JOHNNY: Well, thanks for that, brain. Care to kick me in the CROTCH and COMPLETE the perfect morning?
SOUND: fwump

1 view Like

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