Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny

302 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 11 #408. Put down the pencil

April 22, 1999

JOHNNY: So. It's all me. So how do I end it?

GOD: Just put down the pencil.
JOHNNY: Pencil? I don't-

A pause

A pause

1 view Like

Popularity rank 12 #407. Jokes about beer

April 21, 1999

GOD: It's ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have.

GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge.

JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl.

GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don't over-analyze things.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 13 #404. Wish it would go away

April 16, 1999

JOHNNY: This Disney stuff is CRAP! It's ruined my strip! I WISH IT'D ALL JUST GO AWAY!

SOUND: WOOSH

A pause

JOHNNY: And I wish I had a million dollars.

A pause

JOHNNY: Damn.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 14 #400. Less Duke-centric

April 12, 1999

JOHNNY: Jay, here're the top ten better places to live than TRENT: 1. ON the Mongolian Grill, 2. Bill Burig's navel, 3. Two words: lemur dung, 4. the...

DIRECTOR: OK! CUT! Cut, people! Johnny, I'm Mike from Disney. To give the strip a BROADER appeal, we're replacing all "Duke" references with vague PRONOUNS.

JOHNNY: Um... oh, OK.
DIRECTOR: GREAT! OK, take 2, people!

JOHNNY: Um, Jay, here's the top ten better places to live than, uh, THERE: 1. Um... THERE, UH, 2. in HIS navel, 3. um... uh, animal crap... 4. THERE, oh, just forget it...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 15 #399. Bought by Disney

April 9, 1999

JOHNNY: So it's Disney, Ben, DISNEY. I can't believe what they've turned this strip into.

BEN: I dunno, Johnny, before the changes: I had a GIRL, a cool HAIRDO, the world was my oyster. But I was always DEPRESSED.

BEN: But NOT, they've fired Jen, my life is a SHAMBLES, and yet... my DEPRESSION is... gone.

BEN: I think unhappiness... makes me happy.
JOHNNY: WOW. Some lucky psych major's gonna get a master's thesis outta you...

1 view Like

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