Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Ben

154 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 136 #193. What do ya wanna do this weekend?

January 15, 1998

BEN: SO, Jen, what do ya wanna do this weekend? Take in a PLAY? A moonlit WALK in the gardens? Maybe BOWLING?

JEN: MMM, sorry hun, I'm gonna be busy all weekend, uh, there's a, uh, a "California Dreamin'" marathon...

BEN: (sigh) Or we could go see "TITANIC" again...

JEN: DiCaprio HERE I COME! I'll get the car!
BEN: I hate being WHIPPED...

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Popularity rank 137 #189. All-nighter

December 5, 1997

A pause.

BEN: 5... 4... 3... 2....

BEN: .... 1!

BEN: The all-nighter go well?
JOHNNY: Oh, most definitely... say... ....... we don't clean this FLOOR much.
SOUND: WHUMP!

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Popularity rank 138 #187. You know what’s funny?

December 3, 1997

WILLIAM: You know what's FUNNY? Since STRINGS are just ARRAYS of characters, and ARRAYS are just assigned blocks of MEMORY, you can just use POINTER arithmetic to TRAVERSE STRINGS. Even in C++!

LABEL: Big dork.
LABEL: Not big dorks.

WILLIAM: WELL, it's not "HA HA" funny, I suppose...

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Popularity rank 139 #184. Poop jokes are funny

November 28, 1997

JOHNNY: Certain things are just LIKABLE, Ben. It's human NATURE. ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE are easy to look at. POOP JOKES are always funny. And POP MUSIC SOUNDS GOOD!

BEN: Yeah, but what you're FORGETTING is-

BEN: Heh, heh, heh. Huh, huh, huh....

BEN: Poop IS funny.

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Popularity rank 140 #183. Challenged by your music

November 27, 1997

BEN: Don't you want to be CHALLENGED by your music, though? Don't you want to be STIMULATED?

JOHNNY: Sure. SOMEtimes, but sometimes I just want something to hum while my rice is cooking.

BEN: But what if your "RICE" never stops "COOKING", Johnny?

JOHNNY: Ben, this is what's known as PUSHING a metaphor?
BEN: And what if it's WILD rice?

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