Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Ben

154 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 146 #151. Ben’s depressed

October 14, 1997

BEN: (sigh)
SOUND: (door) SLAM

JOHNNY: Oh, WHAT? Are you DEPRESSED again? Will you just bite the bullet and get some PROZAC already...

BEN: There's a lot of love in this room.
JOHNNY: You want love? Listen to Hanson. I just paid $8 for a SNAPPLE. FREAKIN' Bryan vending machines.

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Popularity rank 147 #144. Soap smells good, but you can’t eat it

October 3, 1997

JOHNNY: You know, soap SMELLS really good, but you can't EAT it.

JOHNNY: Which sucks 'cos I bet those suds would go great with hummus...

A pause.

BEN: I think weirdness-wise, he just lapped us.

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Popularity rank 148 #142. How was Hell?

October 1, 1997

WILLIAM: SO, how was hell?
JOHNNY: All RIGHT, no good Chinese food, though.
SOUND: sniff sniff
LABEL: Ben!

WILLIAM: Is Chapel Hill all better now? Did you conveniently resolve the plotline?
BEN: Uh, NO. It's STILL hell.
SOUND: jingle jingle

WILLIAM: DUDE! We ALWAYS resolve plots in 5 days!
BEN: Well, I'm SO sorry. Johnny wanted Chinese. What's been going on here?
SOUND: condescend condescend

WILLIAM: Not much. They ended racism. And the frats decided to stop giving out beer. Nothing BIG though.
JOHNNY: MMM. Gen. Tsao's...
NOTE: No sound effect this panel

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Popularity rank 149 #139. Entering Hell

September 26, 1997

BEN: Well, THAT took forever. There is just NO parking in hell.
JOHNNY: Remember, we're in "Attila the Hun" 17...

BEN: Hi, we'd like to-
DEVIL: Time of death?

BEN: That's the thing, actually we're still alive, we just want to look around.
DEVIL: OH, all right. Lemme stamp your hands...

DEVIL: SAY, didn't you have a bit of trouble on the last orgo final?
JOHNNY: What? NO. I, UH, I don't know what you're, UH...
BEN: You know, hell's really more of a DRY heat...

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Popularity rank 150 #138. Driving into Hell

September 25, 1997

JOHNNY: How're we supposed to just drive into hell?
BEN: Look, I GOTTA see this...

JOHNNY: WAIT, there's the exit. SEE, Chapel Hill's crossed out and it says "Pits of Hell".
BEN: All right. Here we go.

JOHNNY: Here's another sign: "Warning: Construction Road May Turn to Molten Lava."
SOUND: Squint!

BEN: Should I have CHAINS on or something?
JOHNNY: NAH, nah... you're insured, right?

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