Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Ben

154 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 141 #182. Your music is mindless

November 26, 1997

BEN: So you ADMIT your music is SIMPLE, even MINDLESS!
JOHNNY: Yeah. Sometime's simple's GOOD.

BEN: But the songs you listen to all use the SAME 3 CHORDS! How can you STAND it!??

JOHNNY: I dunno.

JOHNNY: Maybe they're my FAVORITE three chords.

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Popularity rank 142 #163. Halloween tips

October 30, 1997

JOHNNY: Be SAFE this Halloween, for costumes, use FAKE knives instead of real ones.
LABEL: Drinky-Drink Kid
LABEL: BUCK NAKED

JOHNNY: ... or else this'll happen.
BEN: YOU CUT MY ARM OFF! AAUGH!
SOUND: slash

JOHNNY: Oh, I'm sorry, HERE, have an apple.
BEN: OK.

JOHNNY: ... and check apples for razor blades.
BEN: AAUUGH

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Popularity rank 143 #155. You think too much

October 20, 1997

JOHNNY: Oh, LOOK, this is STUPID!

JOHNNY: You're only DEPRESSED 'cuz you THINK too much! You need to live like ME!
NOTE: Happy b-day pops!

BEN: What, by eating Cheese Nips and watching the USA Network?

JOHNNY: RIGHT! OOO, look, "La Femme Nikita"! Mmm...
BEN: It's WORKING, my brain just made a squooshing sound...
TV: USA: The cure for the common education.

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Popularity rank 144 #154. Hard bearing your soul

October 17, 1997

BEN: It's just HARD being in a daily comic strip, bearing my SOUL out there 5 DAYS a week.

A pause.

JOHNNY: That's your SOUL?

JOHNNY: Nice SOUL.
BEN: Oh, CRAM it, UPC boy.

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Popularity rank 145 #153. What’s wrong with Ben

October 16, 1997

JOHNNY: Sorry I blew up, Ben. What's a' matter?
BEN: AH, just life in general...
SOUND: pat pat

JOHNNY: BEN! Your life is GREAT! You make good GRADES! You have lots of FRIENDS! You have an INCREDIBLE girlfriend!

JOHNNY: I don't make good GRADES! I don't have a GIRLFRIEND!

JOHNNY: Now I'M depressed.
BEN: Welcome to the fold.

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