JOHNNY: Hey look, they got personal ads in the Chronicle…
AD: Tall, gangly, “unique” looking AEPi seeks replacement for his weary, weary right hand. Enjoys playing dress-up, stealing Billy Madison, Chris Rock jokes, writing “humor” column, and bestiality. All genders accepted. Call Keith
AD: Short, weasel-y lookin’ AEPi with admittedly small “stature” and questionable hair seeks someone. Anyone. Please. Help me. Turn-ons include black trenchcoats, sunglasses, being called “Master” and TOSSing SALAD. Call Jason
BEN: Hey, when are your two exams?
JOHNNY: I told you! They’re MONDAY, MONDAY!
BEN: That when we find out about that ANONYMOUS HUMOR COLUMN?