Monday Monday columnists revealed

JOHNNY: Hey look, they got personal ads in the Chronicle... AD: Tall, gangly, "unique" looking AEPi seeks replacement for his weary, weary right hand. Enjoys playing dress-up, stealing Billy Madison, Chris Rock jokes, writing "humor" column, and bestiality. All genders accepted. Call Keith AD: Short, weasel-y lookin' AEPi with admittedly small "stature" and questionable hair seeks someone. Anyone. Please. Help me. Turn-ons include black trenchcoats, sunglasses, being called "Master" and TOSSing SALAD. Call Jason BEN: Hey, when are your two exams? JOHNNY: I told you! They're MONDAY, MONDAY! BEN: That when we find out about that ANONYMOUS HUMOR COLUMN? JOHNNY: The Chronicle has a HUMOR column?
Transcript
    • JOHNNY: Hey look, they got personal ads in the Chronicle…
    • AD: Tall, gangly, “unique” looking AEPi seeks replacement for his weary, weary right hand. Enjoys playing dress-up, stealing Billy Madison, Chris Rock jokes, writing “humor” column, and bestiality. All genders accepted. Call Keith
    • AD: Short, weasel-y lookin’ AEPi with admittedly small “stature” and questionable hair seeks someone. Anyone. Please. Help me. Turn-ons include black trenchcoats, sunglasses, being called “Master” and TOSSing SALAD. Call Jason
    • BEN: Hey, when are your two exams?
    • JOHNNY: I told you! They’re MONDAY, MONDAY!
    • BEN: That when we find out about that ANONYMOUS HUMOR COLUMN?
    • JOHNNY: The Chronicle has a HUMOR column?