Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Topic

Comics about the student newspaper

6 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #261. Monday Monday columnists revealed

April 28, 1998

JOHNNY: Hey look, they got personal ads in the Chronicle...

AD: Tall, gangly, "unique" looking AEPi seeks replacement for his weary, weary right hand. Enjoys playing dress-up, stealing Billy Madison, Chris Rock jokes, writing "humor" column, and bestiality. All genders accepted. Call Keith
AD: Short, weasel-y lookin' AEPi with admittedly small "stature" and questionable hair seeks someone. Anyone. Please. Help me. Turn-ons include black trenchcoats, sunglasses, being called "Master" and TOSSing SALAD. Call Jason

BEN: Hey, when are your two exams?
JOHNNY: I told you! They're MONDAY, MONDAY!

BEN: That when we find out about that ANONYMOUS HUMOR COLUMN?
JOHNNY: The Chronicle has a HUMOR column?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 2 #232. Next to the crossword

March 11, 1998

JOHNNY: For all you avid crossword solvers, today's Johnny provides a service: we've put all the humor into the one panel still visible when you fold the paper into prime crossword solvin' position! Come for the crossword, stay for the comic! ENJOY!

JOHNNY: Lemurs!
WILLIAM: Nerds!
BEN: Trent!
JEN: Pre meds!
FRATMAN: Frats!
MO: Nan!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 3 #158. De-segregate Duke shirt

October 23, 1997

REPORTERS: Get a shot of this, Earl, a freshman with a "de-segregate Duke" shirt!
SOUND: click click click

REPORTER: Kid, we're gonna plaster your face on 15,000 Chronicles, LEAST you can do is give us a quote, HMM?

FRESHMAN: UM, they were just giving out t-shirts AND... well, LOOK, I just... I don't... TRENT is... I'm not...
SOUND: click click click

REPORTER: "I'm mad as hell, and Nan's goin' down!" That's a quote, Earl! Headline: "Race riots rampage Randolph", let's go INCITE THE MASSES...
SOUND: click click click

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #72. What the Chronicle didn’t print

March 5, 1997

HEADLINE: Johnny B. Goode enough? Probably not
SUBHEAD: Candidate lacks drive, talent, and interest, overall, though, a fun guy

NARRATOR: What the Chronicle didn't print.

ARTICLE: … however, no formal charges were pressed.
"And I'll never buy cheap spaghetti again," he said.
Although never formally trained, Williams works as a professional belly dancer at several local Durham night spots through the University's work-study program.
As for academics, Johnny is still as of yet undecided major-wise, although Public Policy and Sociology sound appealing.
"Any field where I can successfully slack off and yet make money is what I'm looking for," said he, "and Public Policy sounds right up my alley. I mean, I love to pander, and I'm blindly idealistic."
Williams also dabbles in the …

ARTICLE: … despite "repeated warnings".
"All I'm saying," he said, "is that dogs shouldn't be allowed in the circus. It's a moral thing."
The operation involved seventy-two stitches, but Johnny insisted on no anesthesia.
At this point in the interview, Williams revealed that he had been lying much of the time. We found this engaging.
As for the rerelease of Star Wars, Johnny described the first film as "a delightful feast for the senses" and "an enchanting romp". Williams also used the words "fine holiday fun", but we refused to print them... DAMN! How did he do that? We really …

PHOTO: Johnny's portrait.
CAPTION: Vincent Del Negro/Glamour Shots. Johnny Williams

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #355. Equating white with normal

February 1, 1999

WINSTON: You have to step back from our campus and take a good look at it.

WINSTON: There's tons of examples where "white" is equated with normal. It makes everyone else "non-white", ABnormal, deviant.

WINSTON: There's "black" history" and history. "Black" frats and frats/ When race isn't specified, white is assumed. It's subtle, it's everywhere.

WINSTON: Take the DAMN cartoon in the Chronicle!
JOHNNY: Well, there's a whole WORLD of problems with that thing. It's so damn preachy...

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon