Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

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#394. Each bring something important to the relationship

April 2, 1999

BEN: Do we even make SENSE, Jen? You being so PRACTICAL and me so ROMANTIC?
LABEL: Post-orgo text backrub

JEN: SURE we make sense! We each bring something important to the relationship. ME, I'm LEVELHEADED. I'm DEPENDABLE, RATIONAL, never MOODY...

JEN: And YOU... you... whine and smoke a lot.

JEN: Well, maybe some of us are more important than others...
BEN: HEY!

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#393. Dr. Pepper

April 1, 1999

BEN: I'm gonna get a Coke. D'you want anything?
JOHNNY: A Dr. Pepper.

JOHNNY: Hey, what if Dr. Pepper was a REAL doctor? MAN. Well, he wouldn't be a very GOOD one.

JOHNNY: Cuz all he could ever say is "fizz".

BEN: It's like some X-Files episode where they've SUCKED out his brain, but he keeps TALKING.
JOHNNY: Mr. PIBB, I assume, just got a bachelor's degree.

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#392. Where’s Nick and Mo?

March 31, 1999

NICK: Hey, Mo, how come we haven't been in the strip for a while?
LABEL: Nick the Squirrel
LABEL: Mo the Bat

MO: I dunno. Perhaps we were just a device used by an inexperienced caroonist to comment on topics that couldn't be placed in the context of the main characters.

MO: Perhaps now the cartoonist has had time to develop his characters and his craft, and can express himself fully through Johnny, Ben, etc. We've become "nonessential workers" so to speak.

NICK: Well, PERHAPS we shouldn't have peed in the editor's COFFEE that day...
MO: In MY species, it's a gesture of RESPECT!

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#391. STU and morals

March 30, 1999

STU: Sir, how does one obtain MORALS?
JOHNNY: Well, STU, it's partly from upbringing, but a lot of it's from instinct.

STU: And would you say morality's a distinctively HUMAN quality?
JOHNNY: Oh, I'd say so.

STU: So, as a COMPUTER, I could really have no concept of "right" or "wrong".
JOHNNY: No, I guess not.

STU: And would you sign a written statement to that effect?
JOHNNY: WHAT? Why- are these NUCLEAR LAUNCH CODES? BAD STU!! BAD STU!!
SOUND: sniff

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#390. Thong

March 29, 1999

A pause

A pause

A pause

JEN: OK, remind me to never wear a THONG again EVER.
BEN: Remind me to forget to remind you.

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