Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

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414 comicsNewest first Most popular Oldest first

#409. STU and blackmail

June 1, 1999

STU: Johnny! How are you? You have new mail! How about some solitaire?
JOHNNY: Mmm...

STU: Long day?
JOHNNY: Mmm...
STU: Long week?
JOHNNY: Mmm...

STU: I could also call up swimsuit.photos.com/nude/ again? I saved that password...

JOHNNY: I thought we deleted all record of that afternoon?!
STU: I know you dd! I've got three gigs of the D: drive devoted just to blackmail!

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#408. Put down the pencil

April 22, 1999

JOHNNY: So. It's all me. So how do I end it?

GOD: Just put down the pencil.
JOHNNY: Pencil? I don't-

A pause

A pause

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#407. Jokes about beer

April 21, 1999

GOD: It's ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have.

GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge.

JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl.

GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don't over-analyze things.

1 view Like

#406. It’s all just you

April 20, 1999

JOHNNY: God! YOU stopped Disney from ruining the strip?
GOD: Johnny, you know I don't have the legal backing to stop Disney. The whole "Disney" thing was never even true, was it?

JOHNNY: Was it, Johnny?

JOHNNY: You made it ALL up. In fact, everything in this strip, every character, it's all just YOU.

JOHNNY: What tipped you off, God, the freakin' TITLE?
GOD: Quiet you!

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#405. Meet God

April 19, 1999

JOHNNY: So... WHAT? It's just ME, now? Just ME? All ALONE? Well, SORRY! NO deal!

JOHNNY: I'm LEAVING! You hear me? I'm OUT! Whoever's in charge up there, you don't have JOHNNY WILLIAMS to kick around anymore!

GOD: Johnny, this is God. Quit yer bitchin'!

JOHNNY: Well. GOD certainly has developed a potty mouth...
GOD: Shut up, moron, I can hear your thoughts too!

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