How to rush a frat

Hey Kids! Despite numerous requests for a longer introduction, we begin this week with our first Instructional Cartoon entitled: How To Rush a Frat! NARRATOR: Step 1: Strip yourself of all clothes, morals, personality, possessions, etc. JOHNNY: I am now, as they say, a tabula rassa. LABEL: Bucket filled with old morals & personality NOTE: The Chronicle would like to note that Mason's repeated use of nudity is for artistic reasons, so you're not allowed to be offended. NARRATOR: Step 2: Acquire NEW clothes, morals, personality, possesions, etc. from whichever frat you are rushing. JOHNNY: Sez here I now support illegal immigration and roller hockey. NOTE: Trivia Corner - When is the next Duke Roller Hockey event? February 1st NARRATOR: Step 3: Consume a great deal of alcohol to get rid of pesky self-respect. JOHNNY: Where's all the hot girls like in the commercials? LABEL: In drunken stupor! NOTE: We here at "Johnny" do not condone drinking at all, so don't do it. And don't do drugs. And always wear a condom. And no more than 10 items if you're in the express lane. Thanks you NARRATOR: Step 4: Rinse and repeat as necessary. BEN: Doesn't this seem remarkably like COMMUNISM? JOHNNY: Yes, but step three makes is as American as apple pie and Social Security!
Transcript
  1. Hey Kids! Despite numerous requests for a longer introduction, we begin this week with our first Instructional Cartoon entitled: How To Rush a Frat!
    • NARRATOR: Step 1: Strip yourself of all clothes, morals, personality, possessions, etc.
    • JOHNNY: I am now, as they say, a tabula rassa.
    • LABEL: Bucket filled with old morals & personality
    • NOTE: The Chronicle would like to note that Mason’s repeated use of nudity is for artistic reasons, so you’re not allowed to be offended.
    • NARRATOR: Step 2: Acquire NEW clothes, morals, personality, possesions, etc. from whichever frat you are rushing.
    • JOHNNY: Sez here I now support illegal immigration and roller hockey.
    • NOTE: Trivia Corner – When is the next Duke Roller Hockey event? February 1st
    • NARRATOR: Step 3: Consume a great deal of alcohol to get rid of pesky self-respect.
    • JOHNNY: Where’s all the hot girls like in the commercials?
    • LABEL: In drunken stupor!
    • NOTE: We here at “Johnny” do not condone drinking at all, so don’t do it. And don’t do drugs. And always wear a condom. And no more than 10 items if you’re in the express lane. Thanks you
    • NARRATOR: Step 4: Rinse and repeat as necessary.
    • BEN: Doesn’t this seem remarkably like COMMUNISM?
    • JOHNNY: Yes, but step three makes is as American as apple pie and Social Security!