Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Comics about dating and relationships

52 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 31 #364. Taking it slow

February 12, 1999

JODIE: Jay, thanks for bringing this up. As for "us", I'm not sure, maybe we should just TAKE IT SLOW for a while.
JAY: That sounds fine, Jodie. I'm...

JAY: ... just... glad... .... to... ?? .... oh .... no! .....

JAY: .... Movement .... slowed! .... Laws of physics .... not working! .... .... Time and space .... bending! .... Caught .... in .... a .... a

JAY: .... (shudder) .... RELATIONSHIP .... TIMEWARP!

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Popularity rank 32 #361. Valentine’s Day – Beer: A diamond is expensive

February 9, 1999

NARRATOR: This Valentine's Day, show that special someone just how special they are.

NARRATOR: And if you don't have a special someone...

NARRATOR: ... then get very, very drunk.

TITLE: Beer - A diamond is expensive

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Popularity rank 33 #359. Meeting some guy who’s not a jerk

February 5, 1999

GIRL: Oh, Johnny, I just wish I could meet some guy who's not a JERK!
JOHNNY: I... I'M not a jerk.

GIRL: Someone who's NICE, someone who's FUNNY. someone who's INTERESTING!
JOHNNY: I'M nice! I'M funny! I'M interesting!

A pause

GIRL: As I was saying... WHY?! Why can't I meet someone like that?
JOHNNY: If you're excuse me, I'll be over there banging my head against that wall...

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Popularity rank 34 #354. White philosophers

January 29, 1999

WINSTON: Well, here we go again. Another class where we only learn about WHITE people.
JOHNNY: Oh, come ON, Winston. It just HAPPENS that most of the really famous philosophers were WHITE.

WINSTON: They're only FAMOUS because they're the ones who are taught every year! If you systematically ignore someone, they won't gain much ACCEPTANCE, will they?
JOHNNY: YEAH?! WELL, that's a good POINT!!

JOHNNY: That wasn't the STRONG comeback I'd hoped it would be....
WINSTON: Oh, no, it was CRUSHING. My back's against the wall...

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Popularity rank 35 #344. Jen’s never spontaneous

January 15, 1999

BEN: Jen, can we talk about "us"?
JEN: Ben, I'm VERY busy right now, you sort of caught me off guard...

BEN: Well, see that's my POINT. You're never SPONTANEOUS.
JEN: You want SPONTANEITY? Fine. Let's break up.

BEN: WHAT? No! Jen, THAT'S, I... YOU...
JEN: Hey! How 'bout some MORE spontaneity, Captain Impulse? I'll take you back.

JEN: NOW, unless you'd like another heaping spoonful of whimsy, I've got a freakin' resume to write.
BEN: Yes, dear. Sorry, dear. Pencil me in to apologize more later...

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