Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Nick the Squirrel

45 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 16 #108. All the little humans

May 2, 1997

MO: There go all the little humans. Scurrying around. Cramming for exams. Packing up. Going home.
NICK: Mm.

MO: Soon they'll be gone and the campus will be ours again, Nick! We'll have all summer to...

MO: To, ah, to....

MO: What is it that we do again?
NICK: Sneak into the clusters and play solitaire till housekeeping chases us out. Oh, and we frolic. Lots of frolicking.
NOTE: Good luck on exams! Later....

1 view Like

Popularity rank 17 #107. The “if-only”s

May 1, 1997

NARRATOR: The "if-only"s....
JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre.
WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer...
STU: Oh, sir....

BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more...
JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip.
MO: If only we had opposable thumbs...
LABEL: Well-placed table.
FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and techno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 18 #91. Humans would just dissappear

April 9, 1997

NICK: Look at all this TRASH! Sometimes I wish all these freakin' HUMANS would just DISAPPEAR!

A pause.

MO: Then who would deliver us pizza?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 19 #81. Existential crisis

March 26, 1997

MO: Don't you ever just get the idea that you're IT? I mean, I can't really justify the existence of OTHER minds.

MO: How can I be SURE anybody besides me is THINKING? I CAN'T, really.

NICK: Have you been watching "Singled Out" again?

1 view Like

Popularity rank 20 #68. What use are you to humans?

February 27, 1997

MO: I just flew into the Great Hall and everybody went NUTS! Screaming, yelling. Just pathetic.

MO: I'm tired of being treated like some DEMON. I do so much for those people.

NICK: What use are YOU to HUMANS?

NICK: And SPARE me the 3-hour lecture on the industrial and domestic uses of BAT DUNG.
MO: You're just jealous cuz no one makes HOUSES out of SQUIRREL crap.

1 view Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon