Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny

302 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 286 #128. Everyone and everything is good

September 11, 1997

NARRATOR: We interrupt this week's epic plotline for a special announcement.
JOHNNY: Attention Duke University!

JOHNNY: LET IT BE KNOWN: everyone and everything is GOOD! Everyone had a GOOD summer; all our rooms are GOOD, and we're all having a GOOD day.

JOHNNY: So QUIT asking! Kay? Kay.

JOHNNY: That is all. Resume working hard and drinking hard. Or "playing", whatever you kids call it these days...

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Popularity rank 287 #125. It’s all about the team

September 8, 1997

JOHNNY: It's all about conformity, Ben. It's all about the TEAM.

JOHNNY: Giving up yourself to a collective. Letting team opinion become your opinion.

JOHNNY: Community thought begets ignorance and IGNORANCE is bliss. Tune out, turn off, fall in line. Take one for the team.

BEN: What if the team loses?
JOHNNY: Pick another team. It's about the team, and it's all about being a fair-weather fan.

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Popularity rank 288 #124. Roach on the quad

September 5, 1997

JOHNNY: What's with the bookbag? You getting back from a CLASS?
ROACH: Yeah, social dance.

JOHNNY: So you're actually ENROLLED here?! How- oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I...

ROACH: No, I understand. You've every right. I actually got in 'cos I'm a legacy. My dad and my granddad were Dukies. I'm the only one in my family though.

ROACH: The other 3,990,848 went to state school.
JOHNNY: Eee. I hope schools have special roach rates.

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Popularity rank 289 #123. Killing a bug

September 4, 1997

JOHNNY: Ben, you really DON'T understand...
BEN: What's not to UNDERSTAND? I'll just SQUISH the thing...

ROACH: Hey guys! Sorry to bust in, but the door was open- say, what's with the shoe?
BEN: Uh. Uh, HEY, LOOK!

ROACH: What? I don't see anything. Now, what's with the show?
SOUND: whap whap whap

BEN: Oh, well, uh, I was just, uh, ki- killing a bug.
ROACH: A BUG?! Where? Is it on ME?!

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Popularity rank 290 #122. Roach neighbor

September 3, 1997

JOHNNY: I want to push you around, and I will, and I-
SOUND: (door) knock knock

ROACH: Hi, we just moved in next door. Could you spare a cup of sugar?
JOHNNY: Uh, sure.

ROACH: Thanks, we're makin' some brownies and came up a mite short. Bye, now.

JOHNNY: WE GOTS ROACHES!
ROACH: Oo, and do you guys have any rotting food?

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