Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Character

Jay

18 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #362. No big commitments

February 10, 1999

JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

JAY: Well, I've gone out a few times with this one girl. It's cool, we get along great, but it's not serious. We're just playin' it by ear. No big commitments...

JOHNNY: Mmm hmm...
SOUND: push push push

JOHNNY: So basically, you have no #?@*in' clue what's goin' on with this girl.
JAY: That's one way of phrasing it...
SOUND: push push push

3 views Like

Popularity rank 2 #388. First step to getting girls

March 25, 1999

JAY: I dunno, how do get girls to like you, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Oh, I have a SYSTEM. The firs step is: get to be good friends with them.

A pause

JOHNNY: That's pretty much IT... it's not the BEST system.
JAY: NO... No, it's not.

2 views Like

Popularity rank 3 #407. Jokes about beer

April 21, 1999

GOD: It's ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have.

GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge.

JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl.

GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don't over-analyze things.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 4 #400. Less Duke-centric

April 12, 1999

JOHNNY: Jay, here're the top ten better places to live than TRENT: 1. ON the Mongolian Grill, 2. Bill Burig's navel, 3. Two words: lemur dung, 4. the...

DIRECTOR: OK! CUT! Cut, people! Johnny, I'm Mike from Disney. To give the strip a BROADER appeal, we're replacing all "Duke" references with vague PRONOUNS.

JOHNNY: Um... oh, OK.
DIRECTOR: GREAT! OK, take 2, people!

JOHNNY: Um, Jay, here's the top ten better places to live than, uh, THERE: 1. Um... THERE, UH, 2. in HIS navel, 3. um... uh, animal crap... 4. THERE, oh, just forget it...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 5 #395. Staying superficial

April 5, 1999

JAY: Fratman, you and Sorority Girl seem to have a stable relationship. How do you do it?

FRATMAN: The KEY, Jay, is staying SUPERFICIAL. Our relationship is based mainly on looks and social standing.

FRATMAN: We never get to know each other well, so we avoid any messy personality conflicts.

JAY: I guess... your shallowness... runs DEEP.
FRATMAN: Deeper than the deepest keg of Beast Lite.

1 view Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon