Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

The Relationship Timewarp

Jay has no idea where things stand with the girl he’s been seeing, so Johnny tells him to have The Talk.

6 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#362. No big commitments

February 10, 1999

JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

JAY: Well, I've gone out a few times with this one girl. It's cool, we get along great, but it's not serious. We're just playin' it by ear. No big commitments...

JOHNNY: Mmm hmm...
SOUND: push push push

JOHNNY: So basically, you have no #?@*in' clue what's goin' on with this girl.
JAY: That's one way of phrasing it...
SOUND: push push push

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#363. The talk

February 11, 1999

JOHNNY: If you don't know what's up with this girl, have "The Talk". Show her you're comfortable with your emotions.

JAY: But I'm NOT comfortable with my emotions.

JOHNNY: What better thing to build a relationship on than a LIE?
JAY: I don't even know if I HAVE emotions!

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#364. Taking it slow

February 12, 1999

JODIE: Jay, thanks for bringing this up. As for "us", I'm not sure, maybe we should just TAKE IT SLOW for a while.
JAY: That sounds fine, Jodie. I'm...

JAY: ... just... glad... .... to... ?? .... oh .... no! .....

JAY: .... Movement .... slowed! .... Laws of physics .... not working! .... .... Time and space .... bending! .... Caught .... in .... a .... a

JAY: .... (shudder) .... RELATIONSHIP .... TIMEWARP!

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#365. Relationship time warp

February 15, 1999

BEN: Hey, Jay! What's up?
JAY: BEN! .... How come .... you're not .... affected by .... relationship .... time .... warp? ....

BEN: Jay, I'm in a meaningful, long-term relationship at Duke University....

BEN: The laws of physics do not apply to me.

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#366. Must find way out

February 16, 1999

JAY: .... Must .... find .... way .... out .... of .... timewarp!

A pause

JAY: .... Must .... find .... it .... QUICKLY!

JAY: Bladder .... apparently .... UNAFFECTED .... by .... timewarp ....

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