Comics and posts about food | Johnny the Mediocre Human

Dr. Pepper

BEN: I'm gonna get a Coke. D'you want anything? JOHNNY: A Dr. Pepper. JOHNNY: Hey, what if Dr. Pepper was a REAL doctor? MAN. Well, he wouldn't be a very GOOD one. JOHNNY: Cuz all he could ever say is "fizz". BEN: It's like some X-Files episode where they've SUCKED out his brain, but he keeps TALKING. JOHNNY: Mr. PIBB, I assume, just got a bachelor's degree.

Sea of soda marketing

JOHNNY: Ben, I'm awash in a sea of soda marketing. BEN: How's that? JOHNNY: Coke or Pepsi? Regular or diet? And what of Pepsi One? Will it survive? Or will it go the way of the dodo like New Coke and the clear colas? JOHNNY: Then there's Sprite, should I "obey my thirst"? Go for the Xtreme soda and "Do the Dew"? Or choose 7-up and become an "un"? To which nonconformity should I confrom! BEN: How 'bout drink the one that TASTES good? JOHNNY: Ben, there's no need to talk CRAZY!

My meal plan’s done

JOHNNY: Ooo, Ben! My meal plan's done for. Can you spot me for lunch? BEN: Sure, just hurry it up... SOUND: munch munch BEN: Whoa! Whoa! WHOA! Turkey roll up, fries, pasta, snapple, side salad, soup, cake AND an apple. BEN: What am I? MADE of points? Now let's get blue plate special on that ass!

Ordering food

BARRISTA: Next, please. JOHNNY: Yes, I'd like an iced mocha latte with extra chocolate. JOHNNY: Oh, and NO COFFEE. BARRISTA: But that's... that's just CHOCOLATE MILK. JOHNNY: Well, WHARTEVER, I don't know all your "lingo"... also give me a portabello sandwich, hold the mushroom, extra ground beef. BARRISTA: A... a hamburger?

Remember to mail the phone bill

JOHNNY: All right, GOT TO MAIL THE PHONE BILL! Phone bill, phone bill, phone bill... JOHNNY: Phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone bill... JOHNNY: Phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone- HEY, LOOK, CANDY! JOHNNY: Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy...

Greek week

JOHNNY: Greetings, all! Today on "Johnny" we celebrate "Greek Week"! We've got tons of GYROS and SOUVLAKI sandwiches, lots of FETA CHEESE, and we're ready to rock! JOHNNY: So, let's... uh-huh, yeah.... OOOOH... THAT Greek. FRATMAN: Psst psst JOHNNY: WELL... what the HELL do I do with all this BAKLAVA? FRATMAN: Sorry, folks, we'll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled Trent jokes.

Han’s and the human body

A pause A pause A pause JOHNNY: Damn you, Han's, DAMN YOU!!

Which bench?

BEN: Where'd you wanna eat? THAT bench? JOHNNY: NO! No, I made an ass of myself at their party last weekend. BEN: OK, THAT bench. JOHNNY: NO, I rushed there freshman year.It'd be weird vibes. BEN: FINE! THAT one. JOHNNY: Well, I don't support their stance on "The Matrix". Plus they play too much Dave Matthews, I... BEN: Then pick a nondenominational bench! JOHNNY: NOW, what kind of statement would THAT make?

Eating outside the C.I.

JOHNNY: OK, this year I'm makin' the move to be COOL. The first step: being seen at the COOLEST lunchtime spot on campus. JOHNNY: OUTSIDE THE C.I.! Only the bold and the beautiful hand here! Here goes nothin'... COOL DUDE: Excuse me, some I.D. please? JOHNNY: DRAT! They're carding! COOL CHICK: UGH, he's eating Han's; that's SO last semester.

End of long, drawn-out storylines

JOHNNY: Man, when you're on the lam, nothin' hits the spots like BREAKFAST FOOD! BEN: You said it. KRZYZEWSKI: THERE THEY ARE!! BEN: Coach K! We're sorry about the car! KRZYZEWSKI: It's OK, let's just have that tape! KRZYZEWSKI: See officers, this surveillance tape from Cameron proves Roshown was shooting baskets at the time the jersey was stolen! COPS: You're right! LABEL: Police officers! COPS: You're free to go, Roshown! MO: I'm NOT, Roshown! JOHNNY: How convenient that both plotlines simultaneously ended! LABEL: Obviously a BAT, and not Roshown McLeod.