Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Comics about drinking

17 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 11 #301. Ever been to an alcohol-free party?

October 28, 1998

FRATMAN: So, what do you guys think about off-planet parties?
SOUND: beep boop

JOHNNY: Well, it all seem like a bit MUCH. I mean, "East-West-Mars via Central"? NASA mixers? DJ XDOLE? All this JUST to have alcohol at parties?

FRATMAN: Johnny... have you ever been to an alcohol-free party?
JOHNNY: Y-yes... I... we....

JOHNNY: Oh God, we played YAHTZEE, Fratman! HELP US!
FRATMAN: There, there. Have another Beast lite...

0 views Like

Popularity rank 12 #300. Freshmen on Mars

October 27, 1998

JOHNNY: How are the partygoers taking to the off-planet scene?
FRATMAN: Well, let's ask one...

JOHNNY: How do you like Mars?
FRESHMAN: It's an AWESOME club, real big. I wanna see other Franklin Street spots. And I hear Raleigh's over there in Orion's Belt.

JOHNNY: He really thinks this is Chapel Hill (chuckle).
FRATMAN: Ah, FRESHMEN, they're so CUTE at this age.

FRATMAN: Do you want some Aristocrat, little guy?
FRESHMAN: COOL! I live in GA... , uh, mean... in SPE, or something.

0 views Like

Popularity rank 13 #296. Mars

October 21, 1998

FRATMAN: Mars has no alcohol laws, no neighbors to wake up, and the cold climate keeps kegs perfectly chilled!

FRATMAN: Our dorms have just the ESSENTIALS: a dance floor, bathrooms, a few hook-up rooms...

FRATMAN: And in every bathroom: RUNNING BEER!
BEN: EW! What about washing, showering?

FRATMAN: You can hardly tell the difference with Bud Light...
JOHNNY: Do these toilets have VODKA in 'em?!

0 views Like

Popularity rank 14 #220. K-ville tenters

February 23, 1998

MO NARRATOR: The "Tenter", a majestic beast who in mid-January embarks on a severe migratory pattern.
TENTER: Go to hell Carolina.

MO NARRATOR: Armed with only an inborn ability to stand in line, these mammals boldly face the elements for six long weeks.
TENTER: Go to hell Carolina.
TENTER: Go to hell Carolina.
TENTER: Go to hell Carolina.

MO NARRATOR: Groups of roughly fifteen tenters, calles "flocks", congregate in small nylon encolsures called "tents".
TENTERS: Go to hell Carolina.
TENTER: Go to hell Carolina.

MO NARRATOR: The reason for this bizarre behavior is unknown, but may be linked to a strange digestive process involving pizza, mud, and mass quantities of Bud Light.
TENTER: Go to hell Carolina.

0 views Like

Popularity rank 15 #150. Fratman sets it straight

October 13, 1997

FRATMAN: Well, Johnny, I think we've learned some IMPORTANT lessons. FIRST: NEVER go to Perkins. 'Cuz you might lose your hat.

FRATMAN: AND we saw the horrors of "dry" parties. NEVER FORGET: themes are ONLY interesting if you're WASTED. And even THEN, they're only so-so.

FRATMAN: Strange fellow, that Bizarro Fratman. Ran off to some IFC meeting...

JOHNNY: D'you catch his NAME?
FRATMAN: Tom So... Sow... Sow... Something.

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon