Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Krzyzewski Caverns

New rules allow tents only ten days before the UNC game, so Johnny’s tent group goes underground, into caves beneath Cameron.

6 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#329. Off to K-ville

December 7, 1998

JOHNNY: Well, off to Krzyzweskiville.
BEN: You waste ALL your time in that tent.

JOHNNY: You know, you're RIGHT, Ben. Here I am, WASTING my time, having fun and building friendships.

JOHNNY: When I could be aloof, depressed and nicotine-soaked like you.

JOHNNY: Evil, foul, WICKED tent! You are a CURSE!
BEN: Yeah, laugh it up, slappy. Who's got the GIRLFRIEND?

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#330. Underground tenting

December 8, 1998

JOHNNY: Off to camp out for Carolina.
BEN: I thought the new rules only allow you to erect a tent 10 days ahead.

JOHNNY: Well, those freshman who got first in line by not "erecting" their tent but simply laying it down INSPIRED us...

JOHNNY: Instead of "erecting" tents, we've formed a complex network of underground TUNNELS and CAVES beneath Cameron! YOU SEE? We've BROKEN NO RULES!

JOHNNY: "I obey the letter of the law if not the spirit."
BEN: I think this whole thing was an excuse to say "erecting" a lot...

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#331. Krzyzewski Caverns

December 9, 1998

BEN: Wow, "Krzyzewski Caverns"!
JOHNNY: Every cave can have 10 people, and they all MUST have 1 freshman and 1 canary.

BEN: REALLY? Why?
JOHNNY: To test the AIR. See, old MINERS used to take a canary with them, and when it DIED, they know the air in the mine was going BAD.

BEN: So THAT'S how you use the canaries.

JOHNNY: No, that's how we use the FRESHMEN. We just keep the canaries around cuz they're cute l'il buggers.
CANARY: Tweet

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#332. Don’t got the conch

December 10, 1998

JOHNNY: HEY! It's our tent leader! Julian, say hello to Ben.

JULIAN: Can't Johnny, I don't got the CONCH!
BEN: What does that MEA-

JULIAN: NOOO! You can't talk without the CONCH!!
BEN: OW! Hey! WATCH IT!

BEN: JOHNNY! What's goin' ON?!!
JOHNNY: Nothin', nothin'. Hey, maybe don't mention Jen's pet name for you is "Piggy"...

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#333. Civilization and chaos

December 11, 1998

JOHNNY: And that's where we killed the PIG and-
BEN: MY GOD! Without tenting rules, you people become ANIMALS!

BEN: You Crazies walk the fine line between CIVILIZATION and CHAOS!
JOHNNY: OH, now, I-

BEN: And the ONE thing that has kept you HUMAN, that's kept you from slipping into utter SAVAGERY... is... is...

BEN: DSG LINE MONITORING!
JOHNNY: AAA! You're RIGHT! They're our SAVIORS!
NOTE: Warning: This cartoon contains sarcasm, harmful to lab rats and Jesse Helms.

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