Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Introducing STU

William installs an artificial intelligence card, and his computer starts making humble suggestions about problem sets and bedtime stories.

3 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#95. Meet William’s computer, STU

April 15, 1997

NARRATOR: Meet William's computer.
STU: Excuse me, sir?

STU: Shouldn't you finish your problem set that's due in four hours, rather than play solitaire?

WILLIAM: Well, yeah I...
STU: Just a humble suggestion, sir.

WILLIAM: Never should've installed that freakin' artificial intelligence card...
STU: I also have some moral questions about this "Elle MacPherson" directory...

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#96. Shutting down STU

April 16, 1997

WILLIAM: All right, STU, I'm going to shut you down for the night...
STU: No! Sir, wait!

STU: I thought perhaps you could extemporate over some iterations again...
CHARACTER: STU, I'm very tired and...

STU: I know, sir, but maybe just 5 min 32.78 sec or so...
WILLIAM: All right, all right....

WILLIAM: A long time ago, in a faraway land, there was a princess named "while-do" and she lived with her sisters, "if-then" and "go-to"...
STU: Was she pretty, sir?

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#97. STU meets Johnny

April 17, 1997

STU: Excuse me. You are sir's roommate, Johnny, yes?
JOHNNY: Hmm? Uh, yeah, I'm William's roommate.

STU: I'm STU, his Self-evolving Telecomputing Unit. Might you have the time to engage in some conversation? The D: drive is most inquisitive this morning...
JOHNNY: Uh, sure. What topic?

STU: I am fully functional in all areas of conversation.
JOHNNY: Oh. Well, then, uh....

JOHNNY: I was just wondering, double integral natural log
STU: Splendid, I was just discussing this very topic with choatique.mit.edu last week....

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