Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Behind the Scenes at Mitch

Johnny interns at Mitch in Wonderland, the Chronicle’s other comic: 72 unpaid hours a week, one lemur, and a costar with a secret.

5 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#100. Johnny guest-stars in Mitch in Wonderland

April 22, 1997

MITCH: Floyd! That's no beret! That's a lemur!
DIRECTOR: CUT! That's a wrap, people!

FLOYD: Ugh! Could somebody puh-lease take this rat off my head! And get my agent on the phone!
MITCH: Hi, and welcome to a behind the scenes look at "Mitch in Wonderland".
INTERN: You robe and cigar, sir.

MITCH: You know, a lot of people think being the star of a comic strip is all fame, money and groupies. But as a socially responsible mega-star, such as Bono and Sally Struthers, I try to help out the little people along the way.

MITCH: Just ask our work-study intern Johnny here.
JOHNNY: You Volvic and beanless burrito, sir.

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#101. Mitch in Wonderland guest-stars in Johnny

April 23, 1997

SOUND: munch munch
JOHNNY: Sir, I've finished polishing you porcelain sheep collection. Could I have a talk with you?

MITCH: Well, your father should really be the one to do this but, OK. Johnny, when a man loves a woman very much, they-
JOHNNY: No, no, it's about my cartoon in the Chronicle.

MITCH: Oh yes, I often read the crosswo- er, ah, the Chronicle.
JOHNNY: GREAT! Got any suggestions?

MITCH: First off, I'd recommend you people put some cortisone on those eyes - they look a bit inflamed.
JOHNNY: Actually we store food there. Not unlike the cheek pouch of a common squirrel.

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#102. Johnny interning for Mitch

April 24, 1997

JOHNNY: I tell you, Mitch, this is the best internship a guy could ever have...
LABEL: Stank!
LABEL: Sponge!
LABEL: Lemur "accident"!

JOHNNY: SURE, I work 72 unpaid hours a week, I'm normally covered in the cast's VOMIT or Floyd's bong water, and you forced me to sign away all my rights and possessions, but I'm gaining...

JOHNNY: What was it I'm gaining again?
MITCH: Nice breasts. Very nice breasts.

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#103. True identity of Floyd

April 25, 1997

JOHNNY: Floyd, I was thinking about tie-dying all my tighty-whities, any tips?
FLOYD: Johnny, you realize who you're talking to, right?

JOHNNY: What do you mean?
FLOYD: The real Floyd has been abroad at the "Duke in Mozambique" program all semester...

JOHNNY: William!? Why!? How!?!
WILLIAM: I just needed some extra money this semester.

JOHNNY: So you've been (sudder) LYING to everyone?
WILLIAM: Yes, and I would've gotten away with it if it hadn't been for you meddling kids and that lemur!

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#104. Keeping Mitch’s lemur

April 28, 1997

JOHNNY: Well, sir, it's been a great semester working here.
SOUND: floss floss

JOHNNY: There's so much I've learned, so much I can now blackmail you with.
SOUND: drink drink

JOHNNY: The trainers even said I could keep this lemur as a pet, with the strip shutting down and all. And in honor of you, sir...
JOHNNY: Spit, please.
SOUND: spit spit

JOHNNY: I'm thinkin' of NAMIN' HIM MITCH! Mitch 1 meet Mitch 2!
MITCH: I think he's marking his territory on me.
LEMUR: I need my space.
SOUND: crap crap

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