Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Introducing Jen

Meet Ben’s girlfriend Jen, a pre-med who has been highlighting for eight months and keeps her bookbag in alphabetical order.

5 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#169. Meet Jen

November 7, 1997

BEN: We're about to have a few strips with my girlfriend, JEN.

BEN: You may WONDER why, in one and 2/3 semesters, you've never really SEEN Jen much, WELL, the answer is simple.

BEN: She's a premed.

JEN: I've been HIGHLIGHTING for 8 months.
BEN: NOW, don't sell yourself short, you used those CLICKY PENS, too.

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#170. Work hard, play hard

November 10, 1997

JEN: Ben, I TOLD you, I'm on a STRICT work hard, play hard schedule, right now, I'm working, I've NO time for you.

BEN: So I just have to live by YOUR schedule? I don't know if I can DO that.
JEN: HEY! I got #23 right! A free MINUTE just opened up!

BEN: I mean I have NEEDS, too, I'm not- MMPH!
SOUND: SMOOCH

JEN: ON TO #24!
BEN: I- I could live by this schedule.

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#171. Odd couple

November 11, 1997

BEN: Good luck on biochem. BYE. OK, sweetie. OK. BYE.
JOHNNY: You and Jen are so DIFFERENT. I don't know how you get along.

BEN: I dunno, she's everything I want, she's everything I'm not. She the scientist, I the artist. And TOGETHER we're RIGHT.
NOTE: * Ben Folds Five

BEN: I'm form to her function. We're truth and beauty. I'm the script and she's the stage directions.

NARRATOR: 7 hours and 2,520 metaphors later...
BEN: We're Turner & Hooch! Dharma & Greg! Tony Maseli & Angela!
JOHNNY: Ben, I'm gonna miss my 9:10...

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#172. Can I bum a pencil?

November 12, 1997

JOHNNY: Hey Jen, can I bum a PENCIL?
JEN: Sure, check my bookbag....
SOUND: sniff sniff

JEN: The pockets are arranged alphabetically by category, and the items in the pockets are ordered alphabetically left-to-right. I BELIEVE pencils are in pocket THREE, "office supplies" under "writing utensils".

JOHNNY: So, are you, like, OFFICIALLY a freak? Do you have the membership card and everything? What's the word on that?
JEN: WAIT, maybe they're under "GRAPHICS tools" - "GRAPHITE-BASED".

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#173. Prince Quirky

November 13, 1997

JEN: SO. How come some LUCKY girl hasn't snagged YOU yet, Johnny.
JOHNNY: HA HA, Jen.

JEN: No, I'm SERIOUS. You're not bad-looking, and you're cool in your own QUIRKY way.

JOHNNY: Well, there you GO.
JEN: WHAT?

JOHNNY: Jen. FAIR MAIDENS generally fall for Prince CHARMING, not Prince QUIRKY.

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