Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 4 of College

Spring '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#207. Bring in da noise

February 4, 1998

A bat with dreadlocks dancing.

The bat keeps dancing.

NICK: I just don't know if there's room in "BRING IN 'DA NOISE, BRING IN 'DA FUNK" for a small, brown bat.
MO: AH, but I can DREAM, I can dream...

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#208. UNC loss poem

February 5, 1998

NARRATOR: Well, YEAH, so we lost, but at least we'll have JOBS, unlike most of those at UNC.
JOHNNY: MOOLAH!

NARRATOR: And in 23 dats, amidst Cameron's craze, it's ALL Duke, 94-33.
JOHNNY: YEAH, baby!
TV: Duke wins!

NARRATOR: Shane, Roshown, and Wojo will put on a show for all the young dudes and young DAMES.
JEN AND JOHNNY: What a SHOW!

NARRATOR: "GO TO HELL CAROLINA!" will RING through the night as our benches are smothered in FLA... ah... FOAM. (sigh)
JOHNNY: MMM... neat.

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#209. Art class comment

February 6, 1998

JOHNNY: DON'T call on me, DON'T call on me, DON'T ca-
TEACHER: WILLIAMS, how would YOU describe this Van Gogh?

JOHNNY: UH, I, AH,... (GULP). How about... PLAYFULLY IRONIC?
NOTE: You own a mirror.

NARRATOR: A moment of nerve-wracking silence.

TEACHER: YES, excellent! NOW on to slide 47...
JOHNNY: I think I may have stumbled ONto something here...
NOTE: To be CONTINUED!

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#210. Brilliant art criticism

February 9, 1998

NARRATOR: After class...
TEACHER: WILLIAMS, could you come here?
JOHNNY: Uh-oh...

TEACHER: Your comment WAS... so INSIGHTFUL. What do you feel about these De Koonings?
JOHNNY: YEAH... uh...

JOHNNY: Uh... MAYBE... whimsically SUBTLE... comfortably ORDERED and, UH, joyfully... daunting.

TEACHER: BRILLIANT! GENIUS!
JOHNNY: They also bear a STRIKING resemblance to PIG vomit...

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#211. Gonna be an art history major

February 10, 1998

JOHNNY: WILLIAM! I have an INCREDIBLE power! By simply pairing a random ADVERB and a random ADJECTIVE, I candescribe ANY piece of art!

JOHNNY: So get the ACES lady on line 3, William, I'm gonna be an ART HISTORY major!

WILLIAM: I can't do that, Johnny.
JOHNNY: DAMMIT all to hell, William! Can't you support my dreams ONCE!? Just ONCE?! You selfish BASTARD!

JOHNNY: WHEN, God?! WHEN will I be free to LIVE my LIFE?! WHE-e-en?!
WILLIAM: I... I just meant we don't HAVE a line 3... ...is all I meant.

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