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Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

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Semester 4 of College

Spring '98

71 comicsFrom the beginningMost popular

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#197. Meet Sorority Girl

January 21, 1998

SORORITY GIRL: Excuse me, you're MALE. You'll have to leave.
FRATMAN: Look, I'm not DISTURBING anyone, I-
SORORITY GIRL: Don't "LOOK" me. You're violating a sacred rule of rush. I will not have you MOCK the Greek system I cherish so dearly!
FRATMAN: You speak like an ANGEL. What... is your name?
SORORITY GIRL: My GIVEN name is Sorority Girl, but... my sisters call me... Buffy...
SORORITY GIRL: Uh, yeah, so, I,
FRATMAN: So, uh, um, yeah,
BOTH: WANNA HOOK UP?! OR, UH, WHATEVER!

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#198. Fratman and Sorority girl fall in love

January 22, 1998

FRATMAN: Buffy, I... you're just... PERFECT. From your ENCHANTED CLOGS that you superhuman fashion sense, to the aptly named, "TIGHT BLACK PANTS OF POWER"...
FRATMAN: To your v-neck sweater that, although powerlfess under the teal sun of your home planet, JAYKROO, provides you with ULTRA SASSINESS under the yellow sun of the Earth!
SOUND: Blush!
SORORITY GIRL: AND... I have a NICE butt.
FRATMAN: Which TRULY gives the "Tight Black Pants of Power" MUCH of their power, yowza.

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#199. Not just a meaningless hook-up

January 23, 1998

JOHNNY: So you think SORORITY GIRL may be THE ONE, huh?
FRATMAN: I dunno, it's just... with MOST girls all I think about is having a MEANINGLESS HOOK-UP with them, but with BUFFY...
FRATMAN: I think about having HUNDREDS of meaningless hook-ups!
JOHNNY: AW...

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#200. Credit card offer

January 26, 1998

JOHNNY: Uh huh, uh huh, no annual fee, 4.5% APR, yeah, I've heard it all before to be honest...
JOHNNY: What can YOU offer me the other credit cards can't?
JOHNNY: Uh huh. OK. OK.
JOHNNY: Now, it's an '86 Volkswagen? What's the mileage?

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#201. Is Ben Fratman?

January 27, 1998

JOHNNY: Hey, where's FRATMAN? We were going to... to play CHECKERS.
BEN: He and Buffy went BID NIGHT hopping...
JOHNNY: Sometimes I wonder who Fratman IS. HEY! Come the THINK of it, I've never seen you and Fratman TOGETHER! It all makes SENSE, I-
BEN: Johnny, we all played racquetball together YESTERDAY.
JOHNNY: Oh... WELL, there goes that. Who's up for YAHTZEE?
BEN: Dear LORD, man, don't you have CLASSES!

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Keep reading

Most popular comics…

  • 1 TV: Yes, Jeff, I am here live at the official rollout of the alpha version of Office 2000, codename Poughkeepsie...

    MSNBC

    1 2 Nov 8, ’96

  • 2 JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

    No big commitments

    0 3 Feb 10, ’99

  • 3 JOHNNY: Greetings, readers! Shalom and welcome to the exciting world of "Johnny"! I'm the main character of the strip, Jonathan G. Williams. You may remember me from my earlier work in the Chronicle, such as "Guy Watching TV" or "Guy at the Airport"...

    Welcome

    0 3 Jan 15, ’97

  • 4 NARRATOR: A character I never got to introduce: Bob the Pirate.
BEN: Jen! What's the symbol for "radius" of a circle?

    Bob the pirate

    0 2 Aug 15, ’99

  • 5 JAY: I dunno, how do get girls to like you, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Oh, I have a SYSTEM. The firs step is: get to be good friends with them.

    First step to getting girls

    0 2 Mar 25, ’99

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Johnny the Mediocre Human

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