Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 4 of College

Spring '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#222. K-ville wristbands

February 25, 1998

MO NARRATOR: The tenters social structure seems to be centered on a small band of plumage around the wrist.

MO NARRATOR: The bands are normally shed in a few days. Scientists have found cryptic markings on the bands that seem-

MO NARRATOR: What luck! A male tenter has begun the elegant "I Got a Wristband and You Didn't" or "Nyah na Nyah na Nana" dance.

MO NARRATOR: The female seems to be beginning the "I'll Show You What You Can Do With Your Freakin' Wristbands, Mr. Soon to Be Singing' Soprano" dance, which due to legal reasons, we cannot show in its entirety.

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#223. K-ville waiting

February 26, 1998

NARRATOR: The tenters' migration is nearly over, and there is a sens of tension in Krzyzewskiville. This final day of waiting is compelling. The emotion of it all is breathtaking.

A pause.

A pause.

NARRATOR: Sadly, it does not translate terribly well to cartoon format.

This portion of today's "Johnny" has been bought for advertising space:

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#224. Didn’t get into the UNC game

February 27, 1998

BEN: Still moping about not getting into the game?
JOHNNY: We were in tent 92, Ben! Tent 91 got in!
SHIRT: I took Jordan's jersey

BEN: I know, I know, but you just have to get over it.
JOHNNY: Oh, you're probably right...

JOHNNY: Look, let's go get some Burger King...

JOHNNY: MAYBE WE'LL WAIT IN LINE FOR TWO HOURS ONLY TO FIND OUT OUR FOOR'S ALL BEEN EATEN BY #@0&* GRAD STUDENTS!

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#225. Fratman and foam parties

March 2, 1998

BEN: Fratman! What happened to you?
FRATMAN: Oh, you know, the cops got me, man. I had lighter fluid and...

BEN: Right.
FRATMAN: OK, no, well, actually I was talking trash to Okulaja after the game, you know, and...

BEN: Sure you were.
FRATMAN: OK, no, well ACTUALLY it was a pledge task to beat up a superhero, and, haha, those darn kids, uh...

FRATMAN: ALL RIGHT, I SLIPPED WHILE PLAYING IN THE FOAM, OK? It's just I never had bubble baths as a child, I, I...
BEN: There, there...

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#226. No more benches

March 3, 1998

NAN: Simpson, these bench fires are madness! Call the dorm presidents, we're confiscating ALL the damn things!
LABEL: Looky! It's a Nan head! Woo hoo!

SIMPSON: Begging your pardon, ma'am, but the students like hanging around the benches, perhaps you should provide replacements.
NAN: Yes, you're right. Replacements. FIRE-PROOF replacements. That'll be good P.R....

JOHNNY: The dorm fish tank? I... I just don't know.
BEN: Our other option was the "Dorm Large Block of Stainless Steel"...

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