Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

William

40 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #176. Parking

November 18, 1997

WILLAM: I dunno, Ben, maybe you parked in GUAM.
BEN: NO! It was IN the ocean.
SOUND: press press

DYING STUDENT: ... 8 weeks late to semi-formal... can't find car... water... WATER ........

WILLIAM: Sorry, I, I just finished my MR. PIBB, I... sorry.
SOUND: press press
DYING STUDENT: Moan...

WILLIAM: Are those VULTURES up there?
BEN: WHY, God, did you create SO #@&$@* many 4-door sedans!

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Popularity rank 7 #146. Return of Fratman

October 7, 1997

WILLIAM: Johnny, I'm concerned. What will the frats' new alcohol policies mean for ME, an average dork?
JOHNNY: I dunno, William, but I think I know who to call...

SOUND: SHAZAM!

WILLIAM AND JOHNNY: FRATMAN!
FRATMAN: Hullo, boys! Sorry I was so pokey; there was a sale at Abercrombie...
LABEL: White Hat of Justice!

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Popularity rank 8 #129. STU’s nose is delivered

September 12, 1997

WILLIAM: GUESS who stopped by the "Android Parts" section in Circuit City today?
STU: REALLY, sir? What is it? An ARM? Perchance a COLON?
BOX: The Ol' Factory

WILLIAM: It's a NOSE! Cool, huh?
STU: Oh. Or rather, OH! Ah, NEAT, ah, sir.
COMPUTER: Cover of Pinkerton by Weezer

SOUND: click sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff

WILLIAM: Well? Thoughts, comments?
STU: The word "PENULTIMATE" comes to mind, sir. OH, and I'd suggest a stronger mouthwash.
SOUND: sniff sniff

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Popularity rank 9 #121. Fall 97 welcome back

September 2, 1997

BEN: Hello, JOHNNY, the lovable main character of the strip.
JOHNNY: Hi to you, BEN, my alternative roommate who acts as a contrast to my shallow life...
LABEL: UPC!

JOHNNY: And hello, William, my nerdy CPS major roommate.
WILLIAM: Hi, I'm using STU, my PC with budding artificial intelligence.
STU: Greetings.

JOHNNY: And look, it is NICK the squirrel and MO the bat who often insert their own views on Duke life.
MO: Hey.

JOHNNY: Say, who's up for another semester of wordy storylines, shoddy character development, and cheap Trent jokes?
ALL: Viva la Keohane!

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Popularity rank 10 #107. The “if-only”s

May 1, 1997

NARRATOR: The "if-only"s....
JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre.
WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer...
STU: Oh, sir....

BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more...
JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip.
MO: If only we had opposable thumbs...
LABEL: Well-placed table.
FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and techno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait.

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