Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

William

40 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 21 #41. Meet William

January 21, 1997

JOHNNY: This here's one of my roommates, William.

JOHNNY: Ol' William here is a computer science major. Ain't that right, Will?
WILLIAM: It's William. And yes.

JOHNNY: Yeah, William's great. He's really, I mean, you know, he's a real.... I, uh, well, socially, I mean, WOW! It's, you know, uh...

WILLIAM: I'm a @%#?/! NERD, all right, Johnny? Now can I get back to my Duke Nukem game?
JOHNNY: YOU KNOW, I was TRYING to shy away from words like that...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 22 #40. Johnny’s room

January 20, 1997

JOHNNY: Here's my room, I'm in a triple. My roommates and I are so similar it's freaky...

JOHNNY: What's up, guys?
BEN: Um, not much... HEY, what do you think: does man need religion? I say yes, William sez no...

JOHNNY: Uh, WELL, I, uh, I don't think that... I mean, it DEPENDS...

JOHNNY: Frankly, I think this is far too much ground to cover in the exposition!
BEN: He THINKS! He THINKS! I THINK I have a paper due in 30 minutes!

1 view Like

Popularity rank 23 #321. CyberWilliam’s sick

November 25, 1998

JOHNNY: Besides this wordy and poorly developed storyline, what's going on with you, WILLIAM?
WILLIAM: WELL, I've been a bit SICK lately.

JOHNNY: OH, like a computer virus?
WILLIAM: Well, not EXACTLY, no.

WILLIAM: It's computer jock itch.

JOHNNY: You know, it's all about suppression.
WILLIAM: I don't even know where my jock IS, anymore!

0 views Like

Popularity rank 24 #320. How computer literacy can be stopped

November 24, 1998

JOHNNY: So, William, how can this plague of computer literacy be stopped?
WILLIAM: Well, we've already started to fight it on a large scale.

WILLIAM: The year 2000 bug is our MASTERPIECE. We estimate it needlessly scares 10,000 PEOPLE EVERY MINUTE! We're also developing a keyboard that shoots KNIVES at you while you type. VERY annoying...

WILLIAM: We need you to work on a GRASSROOTS level: accidentally erasing your TERM PAPERS, failing CPS 1, acting as though computers are run by MAGICAL ELVES.

WILLIAM: We need you to be as IGNORANT as possible!
JOHNNY: I think I've unwittingly put your plan into action YEARS ago!

0 views Like

Popularity rank 25 #317. Message from William

November 19, 1998

STU: New message, Johnny, from William Stanley.
SOUND: sniff

JOHNNY: OH! Our old roommate! Your owner! The CPS major who's in the "Duke in Cyberspace" program and exists now only as a series of digital bits! Why's it taking so long?
NOTE: Expository panel

STU: He attached his entire soul and being as a file.
JOHNNY: Oh. WOW.
SOUND: sniff sniff

JOHNNY: He could've just sent a quick "hello"...
STU: I hope his soul converts to Word...

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon