Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

William

40 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 31 #205. Credit card statement

February 2, 1998

WILLIAM: Mmm. Yuck. I just got a STATEMENT from my credit company.
JOHNNY: Oh yeah? Huh. I got a statement from my credit company once.

JOHNNY: The statement was: "PLEASE STOP USING YOUR FREAKIN' CREDIT CARD, YOU BROKE, BROKE BASTARD."

JOHNNY: Heh, heh. That's, ah, that's my little JOKE.
WILLIAM: HEY! $400.00 for an electronic ASS! STU!

0 views Like

Popularity rank 32 #203. Lino said hi to you

January 29, 1998

JOHNNY: HELLO everyone! Isn't it a WONderful day?
BEN: LOOK AT YOU! You're GLOWING! You get a good grade? You meet someone? What?

JOHNNY: NOOOOthing...

BEN: LINO said hi to you today, DIDN'T he?
WILLIAM: AW...
JOHNNY: He really DOES remember every vote!

0 views Like

Popularity rank 33 #191. Leaving STU

December 9, 1997

STU: Tell everyone hello for me, sir....
WILLIAM: STU, you KNOW I'd take you if I COULD, but I'm FLYING and...

STU: Oh, PISH POSH, sir, I'll be FINE here. I'll download some picture of TURKEY, tidy up the F: DRIVE.

WILLIAM: The annual Christmas break guilt trip.
STU: I mean you'll be back in, what? 25.100 or so days? Not that I'm COUNTING...
SOUND: sniff sniff

0 views Like

Popularity rank 34 #187. You know what’s funny?

December 3, 1997

WILLIAM: You know what's FUNNY? Since STRINGS are just ARRAYS of characters, and ARRAYS are just assigned blocks of MEMORY, you can just use POINTER arithmetic to TRAVERSE STRINGS. Even in C++!

LABEL: Big dork.
LABEL: Not big dorks.

WILLIAM: WELL, it's not "HA HA" funny, I suppose...

0 views Like

Popularity rank 35 #144. Soap smells good, but you can’t eat it

October 3, 1997

JOHNNY: You know, soap SMELLS really good, but you can't EAT it.

JOHNNY: Which sucks 'cos I bet those suds would go great with hummus...

A pause.

BEN: I think weirdness-wise, he just lapped us.

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon