Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

STU the Computer

27 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #172. Can I bum a pencil?

November 12, 1997

JOHNNY: Hey Jen, can I bum a PENCIL?
JEN: Sure, check my bookbag....
SOUND: sniff sniff

JEN: The pockets are arranged alphabetically by category, and the items in the pockets are ordered alphabetically left-to-right. I BELIEVE pencils are in pocket THREE, "office supplies" under "writing utensils".

JOHNNY: So, are you, like, OFFICIALLY a freak? Do you have the membership card and everything? What's the word on that?
JEN: WAIT, maybe they're under "GRAPHICS tools" - "GRAPHITE-BASED".

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Popularity rank 7 #129. STU’s nose is delivered

September 12, 1997

WILLIAM: GUESS who stopped by the "Android Parts" section in Circuit City today?
STU: REALLY, sir? What is it? An ARM? Perchance a COLON?
BOX: The Ol' Factory

WILLIAM: It's a NOSE! Cool, huh?
STU: Oh. Or rather, OH! Ah, NEAT, ah, sir.
COMPUTER: Cover of Pinkerton by Weezer

SOUND: click sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff

WILLIAM: Well? Thoughts, comments?
STU: The word "PENULTIMATE" comes to mind, sir. OH, and I'd suggest a stronger mouthwash.
SOUND: sniff sniff

1 view Like

Popularity rank 8 #121. Fall 97 welcome back

September 2, 1997

BEN: Hello, JOHNNY, the lovable main character of the strip.
JOHNNY: Hi to you, BEN, my alternative roommate who acts as a contrast to my shallow life...
LABEL: UPC!

JOHNNY: And hello, William, my nerdy CPS major roommate.
WILLIAM: Hi, I'm using STU, my PC with budding artificial intelligence.
STU: Greetings.

JOHNNY: And look, it is NICK the squirrel and MO the bat who often insert their own views on Duke life.
MO: Hey.

JOHNNY: Say, who's up for another semester of wordy storylines, shoddy character development, and cheap Trent jokes?
ALL: Viva la Keohane!

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Popularity rank 9 #107. The “if-only”s

May 1, 1997

NARRATOR: The "if-only"s....
JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre.
WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer...
STU: Oh, sir....

BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more...
JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip.
MO: If only we had opposable thumbs...
LABEL: Well-placed table.
FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and techno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait.

1 view Like

Popularity rank 10 #97. STU meets Johnny

April 17, 1997

STU: Excuse me. You are sir's roommate, Johnny, yes?
JOHNNY: Hmm? Uh, yeah, I'm William's roommate.

STU: I'm STU, his Self-evolving Telecomputing Unit. Might you have the time to engage in some conversation? The D: drive is most inquisitive this morning...
JOHNNY: Uh, sure. What topic?

STU: I am fully functional in all areas of conversation.
JOHNNY: Oh. Well, then, uh....

JOHNNY: I was just wondering, double integral natural log
STU: Splendid, I was just discussing this very topic with choatique.mit.edu last week....

1 view Like

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