Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

STU the Computer

27 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 11 #96. Shutting down STU

April 16, 1997

WILLIAM: All right, STU, I'm going to shut you down for the night...
STU: No! Sir, wait!

STU: I thought perhaps you could extemporate over some iterations again...
CHARACTER: STU, I'm very tired and...

STU: I know, sir, but maybe just 5 min 32.78 sec or so...
WILLIAM: All right, all right....

WILLIAM: A long time ago, in a faraway land, there was a princess named "while-do" and she lived with her sisters, "if-then" and "go-to"...
STU: Was she pretty, sir?

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Popularity rank 12 #95. Meet William’s computer, STU

April 15, 1997

NARRATOR: Meet William's computer.
STU: Excuse me, sir?

STU: Shouldn't you finish your problem set that's due in four hours, rather than play solitaire?

WILLIAM: Well, yeah I...
STU: Just a humble suggestion, sir.

WILLIAM: Never should've installed that freakin' artificial intelligence card...
STU: I also have some moral questions about this "Elle MacPherson" directory...

1 view Like

Popularity rank 13 #402. New STU

April 14, 1999

JOHNNY: STU! YOU haven't changed! At least YOU'RE still here to provide your smart yet naive spin on things!

STU: No, Johnny. They replaced my artificial intelligence with various Disney greeting card programs.

JOHNNY: So you can't say ANYTHING funny or quaint?!

STU: Not unless it involves the words: "Mulan", "Simba", or "Happy Anniversary", no...
JOHNNY: No, how could THAT ever be funny?
LABEL: Hey kids, it's ironic. Or IS it?

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Popularity rank 14 #371. e-WebNET.com

February 23, 1999

STU: Johnny, sir, I don't think I've been pulling my weight around here financially.

STU: So, in my spare time last week, I created an Internet-based company: e-WebNET.com

STU: We've attracted a lot of interest, even though we've yet to provide any service or produce any product, and as of 8:00 AM today...

STU: We went public.
JOHNNY: WELL... this oughtta look good on the resume.

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Popularity rank 15 #345. Scheduling program

January 18, 1999

JEN: Try reducing the allotted lunch time by 15 minutes.
BEN: Whatcha got STU doin', Jen?
STU: Yes, Mrs. Sir...

JEN: I'm running a scheduling program to find the optimum usage of my time...

JEN: I've narrowed it down to the ten most efficient.

BEN: Jen, none of these have time scheduled for sleep!
JEN: Oh, no, I cut out sleep and non-exercise-based fun in the first round.

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