Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Topic

Comics about math

4 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #97. STU meets Johnny

April 17, 1997

STU: Excuse me. You are sir's roommate, Johnny, yes?
JOHNNY: Hmm? Uh, yeah, I'm William's roommate.

STU: I'm STU, his Self-evolving Telecomputing Unit. Might you have the time to engage in some conversation? The D: drive is most inquisitive this morning...
JOHNNY: Uh, sure. What topic?

STU: I am fully functional in all areas of conversation.
JOHNNY: Oh. Well, then, uh....

JOHNNY: I was just wondering, double integral natural log
STU: Splendid, I was just discussing this very topic with choatique.mit.edu last week....

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Popularity rank 2 #75. Science Drive poem

March 10, 1997

WILLIAM: Oh Science Drive, so far away, why do I praise you on this day? Your architecture often bland, Levin'e akin to "Futureland".
LABEL: William! The CPS major!

WILLIAM: Oh, home home to orgo, home to math, few of us escape your wrath. And yet I take this time to say, hurrah to Science Drive today!

WILLIAM: Some may laugh, make fun, and sneer; they have no joy for Gross or Teer. But for those who cannot dance, who can't do art that's worth a glance...
SOUND: Sneer!

WILLIAM: For those of us who want REAL jobs, who are not liberal artsy snobs, there is a place where we can thrive. In B.F.E., on Science Drive.
POLICE OFFICE: Sir, you're blocking traffic....

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Popularity rank 3 #19. How to solve algebra problems

March 15, 1994

The All NEW (Occasionally Sans Title) Adventures of

Johnny, the Mediocre Sophomore

Cut out & save!

NARRATOR: STEP 1: Stare at the problem for 5-10 minutes. Try to look like you're thinking hard, but don't actually think or your brain may explode. (Really. I've seen it happen. Very messy.)

NARRATOR: STEP 2: Cross out all the letters in the problem. They will only confuse you and, even worse, could lead to THINKING. (See Step 1)

NARRATOR: STEP 3: Add all remaining numbers together. Remember to use a calculator to avoid thinking. (Use the biggest one you can find. Remember, the bigger the calculator, the higher the grade.)
JOHNNY: So how do you turn it on?

NARRATOR: STEP 4: Go to the clinic until math class is over. Well, that's it, kids! Have fun and HAPPY ALGEBRATING!
JOHNNY: I'm dying. Look, my tongue is blue.
NURSE: Oh, I didn't realize Blow Pops were fatal.

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Popularity rank 4 #27. Math class dream

November 1, 1994

Johnny, That Guy

DREAM SEQUENCE
MATH TEACHER: Mr. Williams! You're next!
JOHNNY: No thanks, sir. Graphing polynomial functions isn't really my thing...
LABEL: Ellipsis!

DREAM SEQUENCE
MATH TEACHER: We're not graphing functions, for this test I've decided to let ya'll shoot baskets in the trash can for your grade! Here, catch!
A balled up piece of paper is thrown to a surprised Johnny.
LABEL: Motion Lines!

DREAM SEQUENCE
JOHNNY: Finally, a class recognizes my true abilities! Ha! Here comes an easy 100%!

JOHNNY: I think this is my calling!
LABEL: Asleep!
MATH TEACHER: We'll pause now seeing as fruitcake here obviously didn't take his prozac this morning...
LABEL: Annoyed Math Teacher

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