Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Topic

Comics about freshmen

5 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 2 #158. De-segregate Duke shirt

October 23, 1997

REPORTERS: Get a shot of this, Earl, a freshman with a "de-segregate Duke" shirt!
SOUND: click click click

REPORTER: Kid, we're gonna plaster your face on 15,000 Chronicles, LEAST you can do is give us a quote, HMM?

FRESHMAN: UM, they were just giving out t-shirts AND... well, LOOK, I just... I don't... TRENT is... I'm not...
SOUND: click click click

REPORTER: "I'm mad as hell, and Nan's goin' down!" That's a quote, Earl! Headline: "Race riots rampage Randolph", let's go INCITE THE MASSES...
SOUND: click click click

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Popularity rank 3 #331. Krzyzewski Caverns

December 9, 1998

BEN: Wow, "Krzyzewski Caverns"!
JOHNNY: Every cave can have 10 people, and they all MUST have 1 freshman and 1 canary.

BEN: REALLY? Why?
JOHNNY: To test the AIR. See, old MINERS used to take a canary with them, and when it DIED, they know the air in the mine was going BAD.

BEN: So THAT'S how you use the canaries.

JOHNNY: No, that's how we use the FRESHMEN. We just keep the canaries around cuz they're cute l'il buggers.
CANARY: Tweet

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Popularity rank 4 #300. Freshmen on Mars

October 27, 1998

JOHNNY: How are the partygoers taking to the off-planet scene?
FRATMAN: Well, let's ask one...

JOHNNY: How do you like Mars?
FRESHMAN: It's an AWESOME club, real big. I wanna see other Franklin Street spots. And I hear Raleigh's over there in Orion's Belt.

JOHNNY: He really thinks this is Chapel Hill (chuckle).
FRATMAN: Ah, FRESHMEN, they're so CUTE at this age.

FRATMAN: Do you want some Aristocrat, little guy?
FRESHMAN: COOL! I live in GA... , uh, mean... in SPE, or something.

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Popularity rank 5 #149. I guess you can have fun without alcohol

October 10, 1997

JOHNNY: Wow, Fratman, I guess you really CAN have fun without alcohol...
BIZARRO FRATMAN: See?
FRATMAN: STOP RIGHT THERE!

JOHNNY: What the... ANOTHER Fratman?
FRATMAN: The REAL Fratman. This PUNK got me lost in foreign territory: PERKINS! He stole the W.H.O.J. and he's been causing TROUBLE ever since.
LABEL: Hathead!
NOTE: W.H.O.J. - White Hat of Justice

FRATMAN: His name's BIZARRO Fratman. We're IDENTICAL except HE doesn't uphold the seventh TENET of Frathood: "Thou shalt give BEER to freshmen. GIRLS. Who are HOT." Poor, sick bastard.
JOHNNY: How do I know you're the REAL one?

FRATMAN: DUH. I speak in GREEK LETTERS. 'Sides, he's got on OUTLET clothes. BLECH.
JOHNNY: OOOoooh.
BIZARRO FRATMAN: HEY! This is J. Crew, baby!

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