Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Comics about breaking the fourth wall

12 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #39. The stats

January 19, 1997

NARRATOR: Height: 5'10". Weight: 175 lbs. Hair color: light brown.

NARRATOR: GPA: 2.54. Favorite TV show: Seinfeld. Siblings: 1.73. Not a NC resident.
LABEL: Slowly rotating!

NARRATOR: Ethnic Makeup: 75% Caucasian, 11.4% Asian-American, 8.4% African-American, 3.7% Hispanic, 1.5% other.

NARRATOR: Johnny Williams: An average Duke student.
JOHNNY: Aside from the fact I'm 2-D and my eyeballs are the size of West Texas...

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Popularity rank 7 #38. Welcome to the exposition

January 16, 1997

JOHNNY: These next few strips will acquaint you, the reader, with "Johnny"'s many characters. Sort of an exposition, if you will...
LABEL: "Casual Johnny" available from Mattel

JOHNNY: For this special event, we have prepared 3-D, laser-guided, virtual reality, Internet-ready holographic "smart" comics (Windows 95 compatible) which allow the reader to interact with the cartoon in a real-time 3-D environment!
LABEL: "Excited Johnny", also available

JOHNNY: They're really quite incredible.
LABEL: "Whimsically Thoughtful Johnny" available only through this special offer
LABEL: AS SEEN ON TV! CALL NOW! SOLD SO FAR: 0

JOHNNY: Of course, we only MADE two of the things, so most of you won't actually get to SEE the... well, the "plain" strips are nice, too, very low in fat...
LABEL: "Johnny in Repose" now on display at the John Paul Getty museum

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Popularity rank 8 #31. Meet Johnny and Mo (alternate)

November 3, 1996

NARRATOR: Two characters, both alike in dignity...

NARRATOR: In fair li'l Durham, where we lay our scene...
Note: End of lame Shakespeare parody...

NARRATOR: One, a human. The other, a bat. Both equally marketable as potential Happy Meal toys.

NARRATOR: And so, a strip is born, and with it, new hope. Hope for a brighter future.
JOHNNY: One with easier orgo tests...
MO: Ay, there's the rub...

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Popularity rank 9 #30. Meet Johnny (alternate)

November 2, 1996

NARRATOR: Consider if you will: an average Duke student. His name: Johnny Williams.
NARRATOR: He is normal in every respect. He IS the status quo.

NARRATOR: Why then has he been chosen to start in a big budget daily comic?

A pause.

JOHNNY: Well?!
NARRATOR: Hold on... I'm thinking...

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Popularity rank 10 #406. It’s all just you

April 20, 1999

JOHNNY: God! YOU stopped Disney from ruining the strip?
GOD: Johnny, you know I don't have the legal backing to stop Disney. The whole "Disney" thing was never even true, was it?

JOHNNY: Was it, Johnny?

JOHNNY: You made it ALL up. In fact, everything in this strip, every character, it's all just YOU.

JOHNNY: What tipped you off, God, the freakin' TITLE?
GOD: Quiet you!

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