Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

The New Girl from Belgium

A new girl from Belgium joins Johnny’s English class, and his friend Javon devises a foolproof plan involving the library computers.

6 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#7. Meet Monique

December 1, 1993

ENGLISH TEACHER: Class, I just want to introduce a new member of the class, Monique, who just transferred over from Belgium.

ENGLISH TEACHER: MR. WILLIAMS! For once could you please direct your attention to the FRONT of the class!

JOHNNY: Sir, I...!!! Da..... wa.... gi... girl..... go..... good....

JAVON: Sir, may Johnny go to the clinic, his hormones just exploded.
JOHNNY: Oo... da... uh...

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#8. Talking to Monique

December 2, 1993

JAVON: So you like Monique, so big deal, talk to her or something...
JOHNNY: Talk to her? Just ad-lib? No way, I need to have a plan, play it cool and....
MONIQUE: Johnny?

JOHNNY: Yes? ... OH MONIQUE! WELL, HA, HA, UH, HELLO! HA, HA, SO, UH, HA, HA, UH....
MONIQUE: Ah, yes, hello. I was wondering if I could borrow your grammar book, is that OK?

JOHNNY: BOOKS?!? OH, SURE, HA, I MEAN I GOT BOOKS, HA, JUST WHAT THE, HA, DOCTOR ORDERED, HA!
MONIQUE: Oh, wonderful! Thank you, Johnny. Goodbye then

JOHNNY: SO MONIQUE, HA, HOW ABOUT THOSE METS? HA, UH....
JAVON: Way to play it cool, Johnny. Johnny?

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#9. Plan for Monique

December 3, 1993

JAVON: If that's how you're going to act in front of Monique, we're going to HAVE to have a plan.
JOHNNY: Yeah, I guess you're right.

JAVON: Okay! So, I have a great plan! You know how we're in the library in English next week?
JOHNNY: Yea...

JAVON: Bobby could change the computer list to get Monique working on it first, THEN I could rig the computers so it won't work right, THEN you rush in to help her, strike up a conversation and end up looking great in front of Monique.

JOHNNY: This is a full-fledged "caper" if I've ever heard one. You've been watching Scooby-Doo reruns again, haven't you?
JAVON: Well, TBS DID have a marathon last week...

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#10. Your big chance

December 4, 1993

JAVON: There she is, this is your chance. She's having trouble with the computer. Remember, stick to the plan!
JOHNNY: Stick to the plan, stick to the plan...

ENGLISH TEACHER: Ah I see Williams is making his move on Monique....
JAVON: Yup, everything will be great as long as he sticks to the plan...

SOUND: BOOM! CRASH! WHOOMP!

ENGLISH TEACHER: I'm assuming knocking down 6 bookcases was not part of "the plan."
JAVON: Not exactly...

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#11. To the hospital

December 5, 1993

JAVON: Johnny! Are you all right? What happened?
JOHNNY: Yea, yea. I just bruised my ego a little...

JOHNNY: I was following the plan, I was helping her with the computer, and I was just about to get somewhere when all of a sudden I leaned on a bookcase and, well, all heck broke loose.

JAVON: Do you need to go to the hospital or something?
JOHNNY: No, I don't think....

MONIQUE: Johnny, do you need me to go to the hospital with you?
JOHNNY: ... I could survive without going to the hospital.
SOUND: WHUMP!

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