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- The All NEW (Better Than the Leading Prescription Strength) Adventures of Johnny, the Mediocre Sophomore
- ENGLISH TEACHER: So Hemingway was saying, oh, yes, Dobnowski?
- DOBNOWSKI: Excuse me, sir, but may I be excused to go to football practice?
- ENGLISH TEACHER: Go on, son.
- JOHNNY: I need to go too, Mr. K.
- ENGLISH TEACHER: Oh! I didn’t realize you were on the football team, Johnny.
- DOBNOWSKI: He’s not, sir. We like to use him as a tackling dummy…
- JOHNNY: Assistant in Charge of Physical Mutilation, I prefer…