Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 1 of College

Spring '97

72 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#67. Why so depressed?

February 26, 1997

JOHNNY: Whoa, Ben, why so depressed? What's up?

BEN: I just feel so utterly and completely USELSS, like I just hae no real PURPOSE.

BEN: I feel like... I feel like...

BEN: I FEEL LIKE DSG!
JOHNNY: There, there. Let's go check some tents. You'll feel better....

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#68. What use are you to humans?

February 27, 1997

MO: I just flew into the Great Hall and everybody went NUTS! Screaming, yelling. Just pathetic.

MO: I'm tired of being treated like some DEMON. I do so much for those people.

NICK: What use are YOU to HUMANS?

NICK: And SPARE me the 3-hour lecture on the industrial and domestic uses of BAT DUNG.
MO: You're just jealous cuz no one makes HOUSES out of SQUIRREL crap.

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#69. UNC’s post-game celebration

March 2, 1997

NARRATOR: Today on "Johnny: Undercover", our hidden cartoon camera reveals shocking truths during UNC's post-game celebration!
LABEL: Minors!
LABEL: Alcohol!
LABEL: Comic book!

UNC GUY: What's up? I'm a redneck! Boy, that Dook game went GOOD!
UNC GIRL: Yeah! Maybe they cancel classes!
LABEL: Highlighter!

UNC GUY: Ha ha ha! CLASSES! That a good one! I'm a big redneck!
UNC GIRL: Hey, I LIKE you, this is longest conversation me had with UNC guy! Let's hook up!
LABEL: Cliff Notes!

UNC GUY: OK! Hey, aren't we related?
UNC GIRL: I think so!

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#70. Election time again

March 3, 1997

NARRATOR: Election time, again.
DSG GUY: Hey! Hold up!

DSG GUY: Will you vote for Matt Elbe for DSG Vice President of Cramped Housing? Um, he's dedicated, hard working, wears boxers, and never loses his keys.
JOHNNY: Uh, sure.

DSG GUY: Cool! How 'bout wearing a pin that says: "'Elbe' there for you"?
JOHNNY: Nah. Thanks but I think I'll...

JOHNNY: AUGH! THAT HURTS!
DSG GUY: Yeah, they stay better if you break skin...

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#71. Decided to run as a write-in

March 4, 1997

JOHNNY: These DSG ELECTIONS are pissing me off. So, I've decided to run as a write-in candidate.

BEN: Impressive. What are your issues?
JOHNNY: No issues.

BEN: No ISSUES? You gotta have ISSUES.
JOHNNY: Well, then I have one ISSUES, and it's that I have NO ISSUES.

BEN: Some people may take ISSUE with that.
JOHNNY: Where's my swimsuit issue?

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