Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 1 of College

Spring '97

72 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#62. Trying out the new image

February 19, 1997

FRATMAN: Let's try out the new image by picking up that girl over there.
JOHNNY: All right, Fratman.

JOHNNY: What's up? I've decided to give you the opportunity to hook up with me. Let's go.

INTELLIGENT WOMAN: Get lost, jerk.

JOHNNY: FRATMAN! She's a (gasp) INTELLIGENT WOMAN!
FRATMAN: Drat! My arch-nemesis! Quickly, shield yourself behind my Photon Khaki Ego Shield!

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#63. We want to be normal, Fratman

February 20, 1997

JOHNNY: Fratman! We want to be normal guys again!

FRATMAN: Boys, you've always had the power to go back. Just click your deck shoes together three times!

SOUND: SHAZAM SHAZAM

WILLIAM: Will we ever see you again, Fratman?
FRATMAN: Um... probably. You know I'm in your econ class.
JOHNNY: Oh yeah. I do remember some guy with a cape.

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#64. Thank God we’re out of that flannel

February 23, 1997

JOHNNY: Well, thank God we're out of those flannel shirts! I just hate wearing those things!

JOHNNY: They make me feel like I'm either some tablecloth from an Italian restaurant or a field hockey skirt!

A pause.

JOHNNY: Actually, I wouldn't mind being a field hockey skirt so much...
WILLIAM: I was gonna say, yowka!

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#65. Phallic chapel

February 24, 1997

JOHNNY: Ah, the Chapel...

JOHNNY: So majestic, so moving, so awe-inspiring...

JOHNNY: So... so... so....

JOHNNY: So undeniably PHALLIC.
BEN: Suddenly I wanna quit smoking...

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#66. Mo loses a contact

February 25, 1997

MO: Hold up there, Nick. I lost a contact.

NICK: A contact? Mo, you're a BAT, an animal KNOWN for its shoddy sight.

NICK: Didn't you compensate for that disability through evolution of your keen sense of sonar-like hearing?

MO: Yes, Mr. Discovery Channel, but occasionally when I'm not filming close-ups for "WILD KINGDOM", I like to see what the hell I'm DOING. So get down here and help...

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