Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 6 of College

Fall '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#329. Off to K-ville

December 7, 1998

JOHNNY: Well, off to Krzyzweskiville.
BEN: You waste ALL your time in that tent.

JOHNNY: You know, you're RIGHT, Ben. Here I am, WASTING my time, having fun and building friendships.

JOHNNY: When I could be aloof, depressed and nicotine-soaked like you.

JOHNNY: Evil, foul, WICKED tent! You are a CURSE!
BEN: Yeah, laugh it up, slappy. Who's got the GIRLFRIEND?

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#330. Underground tenting

December 8, 1998

JOHNNY: Off to camp out for Carolina.
BEN: I thought the new rules only allow you to erect a tent 10 days ahead.

JOHNNY: Well, those freshman who got first in line by not "erecting" their tent but simply laying it down INSPIRED us...

JOHNNY: Instead of "erecting" tents, we've formed a complex network of underground TUNNELS and CAVES beneath Cameron! YOU SEE? We've BROKEN NO RULES!

JOHNNY: "I obey the letter of the law if not the spirit."
BEN: I think this whole thing was an excuse to say "erecting" a lot...

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#331. Krzyzewski Caverns

December 9, 1998

BEN: Wow, "Krzyzewski Caverns"!
JOHNNY: Every cave can have 10 people, and they all MUST have 1 freshman and 1 canary.

BEN: REALLY? Why?
JOHNNY: To test the AIR. See, old MINERS used to take a canary with them, and when it DIED, they know the air in the mine was going BAD.

BEN: So THAT'S how you use the canaries.

JOHNNY: No, that's how we use the FRESHMEN. We just keep the canaries around cuz they're cute l'il buggers.
CANARY: Tweet

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#332. Don’t got the conch

December 10, 1998

JOHNNY: HEY! It's our tent leader! Julian, say hello to Ben.

JULIAN: Can't Johnny, I don't got the CONCH!
BEN: What does that MEA-

JULIAN: NOOO! You can't talk without the CONCH!!
BEN: OW! Hey! WATCH IT!

BEN: JOHNNY! What's goin' ON?!!
JOHNNY: Nothin', nothin'. Hey, maybe don't mention Jen's pet name for you is "Piggy"...

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#333. Civilization and chaos

December 11, 1998

JOHNNY: And that's where we killed the PIG and-
BEN: MY GOD! Without tenting rules, you people become ANIMALS!

BEN: You Crazies walk the fine line between CIVILIZATION and CHAOS!
JOHNNY: OH, now, I-

BEN: And the ONE thing that has kept you HUMAN, that's kept you from slipping into utter SAVAGERY... is... is...

BEN: DSG LINE MONITORING!
JOHNNY: AAA! You're RIGHT! They're our SAVIORS!
NOTE: Warning: This cartoon contains sarcasm, harmful to lab rats and Jesse Helms.

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